What Matters Most
by AlessanaVargas
Summary: Rachel and Quinn have been together since high-school and are living together in New York. Rachel feels Quinn slipping away and she just has to figure out how to win her over again. Possibly M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Rachel and Quinn had been together for a long time, they'd had their tough moments during high-school, but it all changed when Quinn got pregnant.

_By some strange reason, Quinn knew Rachel was going to be the only one that wouldn't judge her, the only one that would keep the secret, the only who would be there for her, so a week after she found out she was pregnant she found herself driving to Rachel's home, she was just about to breakdown and needed someone to catch her. She was choking back tears and holding to the drive wheel as if her life depended on it. She arrived at Rachel's house, pulled over and turned the car off. Before she got out she took a deep breath trying to control her emotions, she took it one step at the time until she was finally in the door way and knocked on the door trying to steady her breathing so she wouldn't start sobbing the second the door opened, but as she saw Hiram appeared she couldn't hold it any longer, she lowered her head and started sobbing._

_Quinn felt Hiram's strong, yet gentle, hold on her arms as he guided her into the house and to the feet of the stairs and heard his strong voice:_

"_Rachel! Rachel honey you need to come down. Now!"._

_And in less than 30 seconds Rachel was coming down the stairs and Quinn heard her loud voice reach to her._

"_What do you need Daddy? Is everything….. Oh my god! Quinn?"_

_Rachel skipped the last couple of steps so that she was next to the blonde in less than a quarter of second._

"_Quinn? Quinn? What happened? Are you all right? Quinn! Tell me what's wrong please"._

_But Quinn couldn't speak, she was having trouble holding herself from falling to the ground and sob uncontrollably, so she just shook her head and held Rachel's hand silently asking her to not let go._

"_Daddy. Quinn and I are going upstairs and I'd really like it if we weren't disturbed for the time being"._

_Hiram just nodded, his eyes filled with concern for both girls and watched as Rachel guided Quinn to her room holding her hand and couldn't help but to wonder what could possibly had happened to the girl that made her so sad._

_When they got to Rachel's bedroom Quinn just fell on the bed as Rachel put the lock on the door and rushed to Quinn's side holding her hand waiting for her to say something. But the girl seemed lost, she was lost in her thoughts, she was fighting something inside of her and Rachel could see it in her eyes so she decided not to push it. But after a while she saw Quinn's eyes tear up again and she pulled her close and whispered in her ear:_

"_Quinn, you need to tell me what's wrong. Tell me what happened. Tell me how can I help. Hey hey, I'm here and I am not going anywhere ok? Just hold my hand and tell me what happened"._

_Quinn, slowly, lifted her head until she met Rachel's eyes, those brown concerned eyes and she saw only honesty and it got to her._

"_Rachel I…."_

"_You... What Quinn? What happened?"_

_Quinn started to cry again "I…. I can't. I can't"_

"_Ssh, Quinn. I am here ok? You can trust me, I promise. I won't say anything you don't want me to. I promise. Trust me okay?"_

"_I… I'm pregnant" and she broke down to tears again clinging into a very shocked Rachel Berry._

That had been 6 years ago, that day Rachel promised Quinn she was going to be there for her, and she had kept her word.

Two years after Quinn got pregnant they finished high-school and moved to New York. Quinn had gotten to NYU and Rachel to Julliard and they had never been more in love. Rachel's dads had gotten them an apartment next to a subway station so they could both get to their classes on time, Quinn's parents never looked at her the same way after Beth, her father didn't really looked at her at all or talked to her for that mattered, and Quinn didn't have any complaints.

She had been surprised though to find out that her mother had been saving up some money to give her when for when she was ready to go away to college.

_She had just hugged her goodbye and handed her an envelope before she turned around and got in the house closing the door behind her. Quinn got into Rachel's new car with the envelope in her hands and she kept wondering what could it be… she opened it and inside lied 5.000 dollars and a simple note:_

_**I'm really proud of you. Good luck Quinnie. Mom.**_

_She looked at Rachel in who was as surprised as she was and heard her whisper_

"_Guess there's still hope in the world"._

That had been 4 years ago, and everything felt so distant, everything felt as if it had just been a dream, or a novel Rachel had read, or a movie she'd seen. She was laying in bed with Quinn like she had for years, but there was something different, something went missing over the years, something…

Rachel wasn't sure of what it was or when it happened, but somewhere Quinn had fallen out of love and in to settlement with her, and while they were both aware of that neither said a thing, they had silently agreed to live like this.

But Rachel was at a breaking point, she was still in love with Quinn, she was still hers just as she promised all those years before, but there was no pushing the feeling that Quinn just didn't love her anymore and she didn't know what to do about it.

She was losing Quinn and she refused to accept that, she had always known her girlfriend was bad when it came to emotions and feelings so she couldn't keep waiting for her to make the first move. She was going to win Quinn back but… She had no idea where to start.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long guys, I've been sick all week and with a terrible headache. I was feeling a little better today and did my best. I hope you like it! Please review! (I promise next one will be better!)**

Rachel just sat there, staring at the love of her life while she slept, taking it in, taking it all in, every single detail, everything, as much as she could.

"Why are you so unbelievable beautiful? "

She whispered to her sleeping girlfriend and Quinn moved a little causing a few strains of her sparkling blonde morning hair to fall into her gorgeous face making her furrow, Rachel supposed it tickled Quinn's nose and she giggled while she took the hair away from her girlfriend's face. God, Rachel felt like crying right there and then. Looking at the girl she had loved for years and thinking she might lose her, it was just too much and if she added how perfect she looked at that moment, it was all just so heart breaking that Rachel found herself lacking of air.

She couldn't understand it. Okay sure! They'd had their problems in the past, they both had strong personalities and were strong minded but that made it all just that much better, they actually fixed their issues even if it took them all night arguing, they'd work it out, Rachel could remember at least a dozen times they'd just argue until they'd both end up laughing it off going to bed and sleeping in each other's arms because, at the end of the day, it didn't matter what they were arguing about, they loved each other, Rachel was so in love with Quinn, and Quinn… Quinn… she had to love her still, she just had to.

Rachel's train of thought came to an abrupt end when Quinn moved again. She was now lying on her stomach.

"_God, why is she so perfect? How is she so damn perfect? Even when she's sleeping she is the most beautiful woman on earth. It is unreal! It is un fair really…"_

Quinn moved again, this time she also made a sound, like a growl or something.

"_Just adorable!"_

Quinn moved once again, it wouldn't take her long to wake up and Rachel panicked! Suddenly she didn't know how to act, or what to do, which was ridiculous really when you thought about it. She'd known the girl basically all of her life and they'd been together half of it, but in a fraction of second everything had changed, she knew she couldn't just act like she had for the past years, she had to make a plan and right now the only plan she wanted to think about was what to do before her girlfriend woke up and catched her just staring at her like some sort of creepy stalker or something, Quinn moved again and started stretching and suddenly Rachel had the most brilliant idea of her entire life: she'd just go to the bathroom and hide there for a couple of minutes, she did that everyday any way so it wasn't weird right?... Right?

So she found herself in the bathroom muttering to the mirror, asking what the hell was she supposed to do next. She could hear Quinn outside getting out of bed and stretching and she would want to get in the bathroom, and soon! And Rachel got another brilliant idea, she'd brush her teeth and she'd flush the toilet, just like every morning because, well, what else could she do right?

"_Just get a hold of yourself Rachel Berry! Get your act together and go out there and enamor your woman again! You can do this! You just need to get your head together and make a plan, create and strategy and win Quinn all over again. Just get it together Rachel!"_

Rachel snorted and almost ejected tooth paste out of her nose and smudged the mirror.

"Yeah, easier said than done".

Just as she was walking towards the bathroom door Quinn was opening it and they got trapped in an awkward sort of dance, Rachel was too nervous, and Quinn was too sleepy to actually function correctly. They did their dance four a few seconds until Rachel halted and let Quinn get in the bathroom.

"Good morning baby. Did you sleep well?"

"Good morning Rach. I slept fine. I was wondering where you were actually"

"Oh – _don't smile, calm down Berry. Just chill! _-, well I just came to the bathroom to brush my teeth. You know how I can't start my day with morning breath baby – _hold your grin just a little longer Rachel come on!_-"

"Your right, sorry, I'm still half asleep."

"Morning kiss?"

Quinn sort of chuckled at this but nodded and leaned to give Rachel a soft kiss, and Rachel felt her heart do something funny and felt like everything was all right, Quinn's lips were so soft and warm, and her kisses were just perfect, and she tasted awesome, and her breath was so warm and… wait, why did she pull away?

"_Baby, why did you pull away? I want to kiss you more!"_

"_I kinda need to __**go**__ to the bathroom Rach!"_

"_Oh! Right! I'm going to make some breakfast okay?"_

And with that Rachel left Quinn alone in the bathroom feeling more confused than ever, Quinn was so confusing sometimes! The night before she wouldn't even kiss Rachel goodnight, and today she leaned for the kiss. Granted, Rachel asked for it but Quinn _leaned_ for it, she _leaned!_ God, was Rachel over thinking everything?

She walked up to their fridge to think what to make for breakfast, she knew Quinn liked pancakes but only ate them when Rachel had morning shows or rehearsals because she knew Rachel was grossed out by the smell of butter and by the thought of just eating dairy and eggs, it appeared her veganism had gotten worse with time and now she couldn't even stand being in the same table as someone who ate non friendly vegan food. And that's when Rachel decided she'd made Quinn some pancakes, it wouldn't matter how hard it was, she was going to win Quinn back and she was starting with breakfast, she'd just make herself a bowl of fruit and she'd make them both orange juice.

A few minutes later she heard Quinn get out of the bathroom and she couldn't help but to feel excited, she hoped Quinn would like breakfast and she would make her smile like, smile _smile_. A real Quinn full smile, and judging by her surprised expression when she entered the kitchen Rachel felt satisfied with herself, she pointed a chair for Quinn to sit in and turned around muttering to herself.

"_Mission Accomplished!"_

She served Quinn 3 giant pancakes and put maple syrup, chocolate syrup and sugar on the table for Quinn to choose and sat next to her with her bowl of fruit and a giant glass of orange juice, well two actually, one for her and one for Quinn.

After Quinn had her first bite at her breakfast pancakes she turned to Rachel with bright excited eyes and without even stopping her eating she said:

"Oh my God Rachel! This are real pancakes! I mean like, _REAL_ ones! How ever did you do them! They are delicious by the way."

Yep, Rachel definitely nailed this breakfast! She just had to keep it up, she had to get Quinn to call her sweetie again.

"I am glad you like them baby. I love you."

Rachel waited for an answer but only got a quick smile from Quinn instead. Her heart faltered a little.

She had to come up with a plan, she needed to get Quinn to tell her _I love you._ And she was going to, or she'd change her name and sell out and do crappy off Broadway productions.

And there was no way that was happening. She just needed a better plan, and while she thought of it she just watched her sweetheart eating her pancakes like they were the most delicious things on Earth. It was a bitter sweet moment, but she couldn't herself from recording this moment in her heart forever.

She was going to create more and more moments like this for herself and Quinn. They'd survive this and fall asleep in each other's arms again every night until they were old, wrinkled old ladies.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N; Hi guys! Sorry for the long, long wait! It has been a tough couple of weeks and I wasn't able to update this Fic, (if any of you guys are reading my other story you know it did got updated, but you also know it is really angsty, as opposed to this one), I was not feeling it to write cuteness and I didn't want to mess it up. I hope you guys like it, we get to see more of Quinn in this chapter. It does get better! Thank you for reading and please review! I promise your reviews make my day!**

As she watched Quinn finish her breakfast with a giant smile on her face, Rachel started to plan out the entire day. It was not common when they had the entire day for themselves and she was not going to waste one more minute of it.

As hard as she tried, Rachel couldn't remember when was the last time they had actually sat and ate breakfast together. Between her rehearsals and performances and Quinn's lectures and classes they had been far too distracted to take advantage of what little quality time they had together.

Quinn had just graduated, majoring on Art History and Classics, and had earned a teaching position because of her outstanding grades and papers; she was truly the most intelligent woman Rachel had ever met (and possibly the most intelligent woman to ever walk this Earth!), so now her plate was really full, giving lectures to freshmen and preparing her classes and getting all her paper work ready was just a handful.

Rachel had landed her first off-Broadway part two years into college, it wasn't the main role, but it was one of the relevant characters. She had finally reached her destiny.

When she first sang on that stage she could feel everything falling into place, it was everything she had ever dreamed of and more, because she always had imagined herself alone at the top but she wasn't, she had Quinn and that made everything just beyond perfect. And it had gotten better with the last performance of the play…

_Rachel had just gotten the call a week before the final show and she was beyond excited, she still couldn't believe it! The director had called informing her that she would play the lead on the show's last performance; he said that she earned it and that it could be her breakthrough, if she did things right, and Rachel was ecstatic! She had only been in college for two years and already things were building up for her!_

_She couldn't wait to get home, to Quinn, and tell her those amazing news. Quinn was the only one who had always believed in her, and supported her. It had been Quinn who convinced her to audition in the first place, and it was always Quinn who'd listen to her whine, and sing and ramble. It had always been Quinn who never faltered, and so it was Quinn the first one she wanted to tell the big news, she knew Quinn had early classes today so she just went straight home;_

"_Quinn! Quinn Baby! Quinn!"_

_Rachel could hear the noises coming from their living room as she entered the apartment screaming with excitement, the sound of the couch as someone jumped out of it, a heavy book falling to the ground and a small "ouch" and she knew she had just woken her girlfriend._

_Quinn ran to the entrance still half asleep and limping a little from hitting her toe against the couch._

"_Rach? Baby what happened? Is everything okay? Sweetie what's going on?"_

_But Rachel didn't say anything, she just rushed to her girlfriend's arms and kissed her deeply once and then giving her quick small kisses on the lips smiling all the time. Her energy was contagious and Quinn found herself quickly absorbed by it and before she even knew why she was grinning and jumping slightly with excitement and a new found energy and she couldn't help but to giggle along with Rachel while she asked;_

"_Rachel sweetie you HAVE to tell me what's going on! What happened that has you all worked up?" _

"_Oh my God baby! You have NO idea what just happened! This is so amazing! It's only been two years baby! Two and everything is just perfect! And it is all because of you! Oh Quinn it would've never happened if you hadn't believed in me so much and convinced me to do it! Oh baby I Love You so so much! This is so awesome! Every thing I always wanted… I will be a star and it's all happening now… This is so perfect, I mean I didn't actually thought this would happen in at least 2 more years but I – I am so excited I can't even –Broadway is just a step away, and two years early! Quinn why aren't you excited about this?"_

_Quinn couldn't help but to laugh because of Rachel's little rant and her pout when she had asked her why wasn't she excited without realizing she hadn't even told her anything._

"_Rachel! Sweetie! I Love You too, and I am trying to keep up but you haven't told me what happened yet!"_

"_The director called me today and said that he wanted ME to play the lead for the final performance!" _

_Her eyes were now wide and teary with excitement as she gripped Quinn's hands tighter and tighter;_

"_Quinn… Baby do you get it? I AM GOING TO BE THE LEAD! THE LEAD BABY! Do you have any idea what could that mean? If I do it right it could be my entry ticket to Broadway. This could be the beginning of my dreams! And… And… It is all because of you! Yes you Baby! You convinced me I wasn't too inexperienced to do that audition, and now … I get to play the lead!"_

_Rachel was now crying with happiness and excitement as she shared the news with Quinn, she was having trouble containing all that happiness. Everything about that moment was just so perfect she couldn't find a way to make it fit into her heart! And the way Quinn was looking at her, with such joy, with such pride, with such admiration and just pure love… It made her heart swell and she was afraid she couldn't hold it inside her._

_She felt she was about to explode when Quinn's eyes started to fill with tears as she said:_

"_I am so proud of you Rachel. I always knew you were the brightest star of them all, even when you felt so small when we first got here I never doubted you for a second. I am so proud of you, and so honored that you chose me to be with you. I Love You Rachel. I always will."_

_Rachel couldn't hold it anymore and she launched herself to Quinn and kissed her with excitement, happiness and pure love. It was an epic kiss. And Quinn kissed her back with pride, admiration and pure love._

_It was the kisses of all kisses._

_A week later, Rachel found herself finishing the last note of the show in front of a standing ovation from the crowd. Everyone she loved was there, Quinn had made sure her parents didn't miss it, Puck was there, as were Kurt and Brittany. She knew that, but the only person she could see was Quinn. The love of her life. The one. And Rachel knew, at that moment, she had it all. _

_Because at that moment, the moment were all her dreams were beginning to come true she had the only person she always wanted by her side. Quinn Fabray. Looking right at her smiling with tears filling her eyes, and she saw all the emotions that were there and it made her complete._

Rachel smiled at those memories, looking adoringly at Quinn as she picked up both her plates and washed them and she just stood up and hugged her from behind, she held on to her like her life depended on it. She held on to her like she was the only thing keeping her from falling down. She felt like crying just by the thought of losing her, she felt like crying because she couldn't imagine being without her, she couldn't lose her.

Quinn had finished washing the dishes and attempted to move, but Rachel hugged her so that she wasn't able to move and she giggled.

"Rach you're gonna have to let me go eventually you know?" Rachel shook her head "Oh! So you're planning that we stay here in the kitchen all day long?" Rachel nodded and Quinn laughed.

Quinn had no idea what the words _you're gonna have to let me go _had done to Rachel (who was already trying to keep her tears from falling), she just felt Rachel tighten the hug and heard the almost silent sniff the girl behind her did and she felt like her heart had fallen to her stomach.

Was Rachel crying? But, why?

"Rach? Rach honey are you crying?"

Quinn tried to turn so that she was facing Rachel, but she found herself trapped in the other girl's tight embrace, and she could feel Rachel's heart beat speed and she could hear her taking deep long breaths, and Quinn knew she was just trying not to cry but didn't understand what was making Rachel cry in the first place.

"Rachel, why are you crying? _Please _Rach, talk to me"

Quinn was now pleading, she needed to know what was wrong!... Had she done something? Was it something she said? Why wouldn't Rachel talk to her?

Rachel took a deep shaky breath and she took all of Quinn's scent and let it fill her, give her the steadiness she was needing before she could speak. And when she did, she did it almost in a whisper, as if she was saying a secret. This wasn't part of her plan, but she knew to work with what was given to her. So she talked softly to her girlfriend's ear;

"I just miss you, that's all. Could we just stay here today and… and be together?"

Quinn sighed, she could feel the emotion in Rachel's words and it worried her a little. Rachel Berry was not known to be one who kept her feelings to herself and she wonder what could be so wrong that made her silent about them, and she was determined to get to the bottom of this.

"Of course Rach. Whatever you want we will do today okay? Just… Just don't cry ok? We are going to have an awesome day together okay? I promise"

She felt Rachel's hug loose a little and she took the opportunity, she turned around and took Rachel's face with her hands gently trying to look into her eyes but they were closed. So she whispered, drawing herself so close to the other girl's lips that they actually touched when Quinn spoke;

"Please don't cry Rach. Just look at me."

But Rachel didn't move, she was frozen, she was suddenly afraid to move. Quinn hadn't been that close to her and that sweet and caring for a while and she feared that if she did anything it would break the moment, she couldn't open her eyes because maybe if she did she'd find herself in their bed and realize it had all been a dream.

Instead she just let Quinn's voice involve her, and she let her warm breath invade her senses. She was suddenly nervous, like she had been the first time she ever kissed her. The proximity, the touching of the lips, the feeling of Quinn's hands on her face and her hands on Quinn's waist tugging her shirt. Feeling the moment building slowly, painfully slowly.

Rachel had forgotten the power Quinn had always had on her, and she almost forgot how she loved it. She was so immersed in the feeling that she barely heard Quinn when she spoke again;

"Today is completely yours Rach. Whatever you want, whatever you need."

Rachel didn't open her eyes and just nodded unconsciously licking her lips a little when she felt Quinn taking that final step.

And she felt it, Quinn's soft warm lips on hers. A tender kiss. A soft and caring kiss. A kiss that wasn't meant to lead to anything else, it's only purpose was to show Rachel in a silent way that Quinn cared, that Quinn was still there, that Quinn still felt for her. It was a quiet statement that there was still something there, something worth fighting for and Rachel felt as she fell in love all over again.

She brought Quinn closer to her and pushed her lips harder into Quinn's, she opened her mouth slightly just to deepen the kiss enough to make her own statement; that she had no intention of letting go. And she knew Quinn felt it because her hands moved from her face to the back of her head and her neck, and she smiled against her girlfriend's mouth pulling away with new energy and renewed strength. There was no doubt now that she could do it.

"Really? Whatever I want?"

She barely breathed it out as she held Quinn in her place, pressed against her.

Quinn was breathless after that kiss, she couldn't really put together a coherent sentence, she was star-strucked and her heart was beating fast, so really all she could do was nod.

"So, I was thinking, maybe, we could go buy that movie you've been wanting me to see since like, forever. And we could go to the groceries store and buy things to make us lunch and we could cook it together and maybe bake some cookies. We could also watch a musical and cuddle in the couch, and you could tell me about your classes and I could tell you about rehearsals and we could go for a walk later and hold hands and… and…"

Rachel trailed off because Quinn was now looking at her in an adoring and amused way and Rachel felt herself blush, she was going too fast and she knew Quinn was trying to keep up but she just was so excited, and when she got excited she couldn't help but to talk loudly and fast!

"How about we go change first baby? We can't go outside in our pajamas… As much as you love them they are not clothes meant to be used outside of the house Quinn and I will not go out in them, and neither will you. Let's go change and get this day started!"

Quinn watched as Rachel returned to the bedroom and she could feel something inside her, some spark she had neglected light up again. And she couldn't help but to smile.

This was definitely going to be a fun day and Quinn couldn't wait so she just hurried to the bedroom to change so that they could go get what the day had to offer. She got to the bedroom and saw Rachel jumping with excitement trying to figure out what to wear and she just watched her go while she hummed a happy song. She couldn't remember the last time she had just stopped and watch Rachel like she used to when they first got to New York, she had let herself forget the energy that emerged from Rachel whenever she got lost in her own thoughts, she had let herself forget the contagiousness of Rachel's smile and she had let herself forget the brightness that Rachel's eyes had whenever her smile reached them and she wanted to just bang her head against the door for allowing those things to happen.

"Well Quinn, are you just gonna stand there all day or are you going to get in here and get changed? I already picked our outfits. For you your favourite jeans and that NYU sweatshirt you love so much. And I'll go with jeans too and this sweater you got me. We look awesome in them, and plus, they match!"

Of course they match! Why wouldn't they match right? This is Rachel Berry we are talking about! Quinn just chuckled and nodded as she walked to take the clothes Rachel had already picked out. She took them and walked towards the bathroom to change and Rachel looked disappointed by that. Quinn did notice, and wanted to stay in the bedroom but she didn't quite feel comfortable changing in front of Rachel, it intrigued her. She had been changing in front of Rachel for the last 6 years, they had seen each other naked in countless times, and yet she couldn't find it in her to stay. It was now troubling her… How long had _that _been going on?

She quickly changed and headed to the bedroom but the sight in front of her stopped her. There she was, Rachel, half naked putting on her sweater. Quinn was amazed at how a simple action like that had that effect on her, she just couldn't move, she was just standing there admiring how beautiful Rachel was and wondered when was the last time she had said it to her.

But there was something else that caught her attention. Rachel still looked disappointed, almost sad and it was almost heart breaking to see her like that. So beautiful and yet, so sad.

Rachel saw Quinn out of the corner of her eye just as she had finished buttoning up her jeans, she wanted to ask her how long had she been standing there but she didn't want the answer to be "I just walked out of the bathroom", she wanted to imagine Quinn had been watching her change. She walked up to the blonde girl in front of her an kissed her softly on the lips putting one hand on her cheek.

"We have to get going baby, or we will not be able to enjoy the entire day."

And with that she grabbed Quinn by the hand walking both of them out of the apartment. She now had a plan and was not going to let anything get in her way.

Step One: "Buy a movie Quinn wants no matter how boring or old it may be" was now in motion.


	4. Author's Note

**Hey!**

** I apologize in advance for this is not an update! And I also apologize for I haven't updated in a while, real life's a drag and on top of it I have a cast on my right hand and won't be able to use it properly for at least a month so the updates are running a bit slow, but they will be up soon!**

**Sorry guys, I am really frustrated with all of this, I love you all for reading, adding the story to your alerts and favourites! I promise I am doing my best for all of you and will update as fast as my hand lets me type!**

**Thanks for your patience!**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey! Remember me? I am so so so so sorry for the rude delay. I know it's been a long time! I have just been really busy and this story has been coming up rather slowly. I already have a chapter done but it didn't quite fit in here and I realized I have the final chapter ready. I still don't know how many chapters are left, the story will end when Rachel and Quinn have successfully found a way back to each other and there are still a couple of things left in store for them. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and you find it worth your wait (I also hope you don't hate me for making you wait so long).**

**Thank you all for sticking with me! Read and Review please guys!**

**Happy Monday!**

* * *

><p><em>Their lives had gotten rather busy; they were both focusing on school and struggling with the bills a little bit. But they always found time to spend with each other, whether it was Rachel staying up late listening to Quinn study out loud, or it was Quinn sneaking into Rachel's classes just to hear her sing. They would always find time to be together.<em>

_It was a chilly day, but they both agreed they would go out for a walk. They had spent enough time at their apartment or at school and they needed the fresh air, they needed to focus on the important things, on what really mattered .Each other. _

_Even though they were both tired, they were going out for fresh air just so they could be with each other._

_They were 5 blocks away from the apartment when Quinn saw it, a little shop hidden in a corner just waiting to be discovered. There was some oddity to it that Quinn found intriguing, as if the store didn't really belong there, like it was built in another time and it attracted her immediately. She started to walk slower trying to get a better look at the store, act that was noticed by Rachel who, following her girl's fixated eyes, noticed the little store too._

_As Quinn's curiosity grew larger they started walking faster; Quinn taking the lead almost dragging Rachel behind her. _

"_Lost and Found"_

_Quinn furrowed in confusion, the name didn't really give anything away, and so they had no other choice but to go inside. _

_As soon as they set foot on the store Quinn came into a complete halt, her hazel eyes widened and shone, her breath caught up in her throat and her hand squeezed Rachel's harder._

_It was like an antique store, decorated in a very elegant "retro" style; the colours, the carpet, the chairs, the walls, the isles, the register, the posters on the walls, the music they were playing, the stuff they sold; movies, CD, Vinyl, Posters, Post Cards, Photos, Books… Even though it wasn't a huge store, it had a lot of things._

_It had 5 isles dedicated entirely to movies; musicals, black and white, mute, old foreign movies, old indie movies. Movies that couldn't be found anywhere else! On the back of the store was a section for old books formed by two wooden bookcases and on the sides of the store was the music section; one side for vinyl, the other one for cassettes and CD's._

_It was perfect! Rachel loved music, and Quinn loved antiques and vintage stuff; there was something about old things that made Quinn excited, she couldn't quite figure out what it was, maybe it was how everything seemed to be more elegant, or the way people used to talk, the way they used to behave, or maybe it was how people's voices sounded, or those classic beauties. She couldn't put her finger on it. But there was something about the golden days of movies and music that made her think of her Rachel, classy, elegant, well spoken, beautiful and unique._

_Rachel looked over to the excited girl next to her and she smiled at the way Quinn's eyes were bright with delight. _

"_Like a kid's on Christmas Morning." _

_Quinn started to walk, slowly, her eyes moving quickly without being able to focus on one thing and her mouth slightly open showing her evident surprise; and Rachel melted at how Quinn was trying to contain her excitement, but failing because of the way her eyes kept on shinning and her hand kept holding on tighter with every step._

_They wandered about in the store for what seemed hours, Quinn looking at old movies and photos, and Rachel surfing through the vinyl. _

"_Gosh Rach! This store is amazing babe! We have to come here like, every day!"_

_And Rachel just nodded and smiled, she smiled more because of Quinn's excitement than her own._

_They left the store with 3 movies for Quinn, 2 vinyl records for both of them, and a rare Barbra Streisand one which Rachel fell in love with the moment she saw it._

It was 3 years later and a 5 block walk from their apartment to the store.

Quinn held Rachel's hand all the way, and Rachel hadn't smiled like that in a while.

When they got there Rachel immediately looked over to the music section; that was the part Rachel enjoyed the most, looking at old records, she could do that for hours! But, this time it was not about her, it was about reconnecting with Quinn. She turned around to look at her girlfriend and she saw her eyes were shinning with excitement and she couldn't stop herself from going back to that chilly day when they found the shop.

Quinn was ecstatic! They had been there just a couple of times over the years but she always meant to stop by more often, sadly there never appeared to be enough time, between her school and Rachel's rehearsals they barely had time to see each other, let alone go out or watch a movie together!

As soon as they came in Quinn rushed to the first isle letting go of Rachel's hand for a brief moment, but she immediately felt the lost and she took it again. Rachel felt her heart beating faster at the gesture.

Quinn started talking about almost every movie she could get a hold of, she'd talk about the director, the main theme of the movie, the art director, the photography, the actors, the scenery, everything! And Rachel wondered if there was anything her Quinn didn't know; she also wondered how long had it been since she heard Quinn ramble like that. Quinn almost never rambled, only when she was really excited, about school, about movies, about some new book she'd found, and when she talked about Rachel (though Rachel wasn't aware of that).

After half an hour of walking through the isles, Rachel's gaze kept going to the music section, she couldn't help it! All that excitement coming out of Quinn was contagious! She could see a Celine Dion Concert on CD and remembered the time when they had both tried to surprise each other. Rachel had bought a documentary on English Literature and Quinn had bought her that very same concert and she laughed at the memory. It was such a happy memory.

As soon as she laughed Quinn turned to see what she was looking for.

"Celine Dion huh?"

Rachel nodded as Quinn went over and grabbed the CD flipping it over.

"Do you already have this? Do you want it?"

Rachel's smile fell a little bit, how could Quinn not remember that? She always remembers even the smallest details!

"I… I already have it. You gave me the DVD Quinn."

Quinn seemed confused for a moment and closed her eyes, trying to remember. She had never forgotten anything she had ever gave to Rachel, not a single star shaped sticker, not a single flower, or cd, she even remembered the time she attempted to play the guitar to give her a song as a birthday present! She remembered everything she has given Rachel since high-school… or at least she thought so…

She looked up and when Rachel saw the worried expression on her eyes she knew she didn't remember and she felt a small ache in her heart.

Her Quinn had forgotten.

She knew she was probably being over-dramatic but, she couldn't help it. Quinn never forgot ANYTHING. Not a birthday, not an anniversary, not a detail, not an opening night, she even remembered Rachel's exam dates…

She didn't say anything and just kissed Quinn sweetly in the cheek, and Quinn could feel the confusion and slight disappointment in that kiss. It really got to her. It was obvious it was something important to Rachel. She was mad at herself for letting Rachel down and she was not in the mood to buy a movie for her anymore.

"Why don't you choose something Rach? I know you said you wanted to buy something I wanted to see, but this was your idea and it is only fair that you get to choose! Besides, I always like your movies and you always fall asleep with mine so, it definitely is a win-win here, isn't it?"

Rachel giggled and shoved Quinn with her shoulder. That statement was not entirely wrong, and she did have a movie or two in mind for them to see… But she still wanted this to be about Quinn.

"But baaaby! We came here for you!"

"I just can't find a movie I need or haven't seen already! And I totally saw you basically drooling over the 1950's musical section!"

That was not necessarily a lie. Quinn had seen a couple of foreign movies she was dying to have, but she just wanted to see Rachel smile again, the way she was smiling when they first got in the store. And Rachel had seen a couple of musicals she loved and that made her smile. So it really was a win-win situation, so Quinn guided her through the isles and into said section and they both started going through every musical Rachel didn't own (there weren't so many so it didn't take them that long).

"Rach! Stop _trying _to pretend you are not at all excited by these ones!"

Quinn had in her hands the special anniversary editions of _Kiss Me Kate, An American In Paris, 7 Brides for 7 Brothers _and _Singin' in the Rain_; granted, they already had the last one, but it was a rare special edition, a one of a kind piece of art, so it didn't matter.

"No Quinn because, as I already told you, this was supposed to be for you and I refuse to leave with only my movies!"

"Rach! Stop pouting! I already told you, I can't find anything I want. Stop being so stubborn and let's buy these ones! I know you want them!... _You_ know you want them."

"But that is besides the point Quinn".

Quinn was now chuckling over Rachel's adorable pouts.

"No Rach! That is exactly the point! You want them and I want you to have them. So in the end it is basically for me too".

"Do not try to turn this around with your psychology tricks _Fabray_! I can assure you it won't work".

"Fine then _Berry_! We won't buy them, and since I don't want anything we'll just go home and search for something on the tv".

"But... But... "

"But nothing Rach. Either you pick something or we're gonna go".

Rachel scoffed.

"You're bluffing."

"I can assure you I am not".

She was.

After a couple of minutes of Rachel's pouting and Quinn's empty threats to leave empty handed (and a couple of giggles from the store employee); Rachel finally caved and let Quinn buy _Kiss Me Kate _and _7 Brides for 7 Brothers_, act that earned her a kiss to the temple which made her eyes and smile shine, a shinning that Quinn thought was because of the movies.

"See! I knew those movies would make you smile!"

"_She really is clueless."_

Was all Rachel could think of as she just nodded and took Quinn's hand back and intertwined their fingers once again.

"_Part one, even if slightly modified has been successful. Now, onto Part Two: Buy Supplies For A Memorable Dinner For Quinn and I"._

Rachel was pleased with herself. She was now in possession of two of the greatest musicals of all time, her plan was working perfectly, Quinn was still holding her hand, and so she couldn't stop smiling.

She turned to her right to see Quinn and she saw her smiling an honest smile, one that reached her eyes and lightened up her entire face. God, she missed that smile, she missed that Quinn. That was _her _Quinn.

"Dammit"

Quinn muttered and Rachel threw her a disappointing look.

"Why are you cursing Quinn? You very well know I don't like that language".

"I know, I know. I'm sorry Rach, it's just I forgot my wallet at the store. Could you wait here while I go get it?"

"I could go with you baby".

"I'm just going to run over there okay? It'll only be a couple of minutes I promise. Besides, that should give you enough time to open your movies and admire them while I come back".

Before Rachel could say anything else Quinn started running back to the store, it wasn't really far but Quinn needed to hurry, she didn't want Rachel following her and the cashier was already waiting for her to come back.

"So, how did you convince her to wait for you? She seems like the most stubborn person on the earth, and she didn't really have any intentions of leaving you alone".

Quinn laughed at the employee's comment. That was true.

"She is, she really is extremely stubborn. But, to be honest that is only one of the many, _many_, things that make her the amazing woman she is".

"If I may say so, you two make a lovely couple. In the year I've worked here I've seen quite a few come into the store, each one extremely different than the other. But you two, I will surely remember. How long have you guys been together?"

"Uhm, we've been together since high-school, six and a half years now actually".

"Wow! That is a really long time! I wish you two all the luck in the world. You really look great together."

"Thank you. So, you have the address of the theatre right? It _has_ to be there _before_ 5 pm or it won't have the effect I want it to have ok?"

"Sure thing! Don't you worry about it! I already have the address and you cell, I'll let you know as soon as it has been delivered. Do you want the note to be inside the box or outside?"

"Outside. Golden bow and a box full of golden stars ok?"

"It's done! I hope I'll see you both here again!"

Quinn nodded as she gave the cashier the two word note and headed out the store. She was walking fast and she saw Rachel sitting on a bench admiring her new movies, and the way the box reflected the sunlight into her face was just hypnotizing, right out of a movie. Quinn just stood there basking in the beauty of the moment and when Rachel saw her she couldn't help the laughter that came from deep inside her heart and ran to the girl of her vision, those two words still in her mind. The words from the note that made her feel warmth like she hadn't felt in a while because they meant she was going to make her girlfriend smile.

_I Remember._

"Where to now Captain?"

"To the Groceries Store!"

"Aye! Aye Captain!"

They laughed and walked hand in hand, both pleased with themselves and with a plan to make the other smile.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry guys for the long wait. I've been having trouble writing everything down because there are so many things I'd like to put in here, but after weeks and weeks I managed to put them all together! Also, my sister was visiting from Canada and she takes away too much time.**

**I sincerely hope you like this one! And I thank you all for your reviews and your alerts, really nothing makes me happier that receiving the e-mail alerts and I wish I could answer you personally but work has barely given me time to put all of this together. There are good times and not so good times ahead, both girls have strong personalities, have they not? **

**In this one, a little scoop of what might be the reason for Quinn's behavior. I hope in the end, it will have been worth your time!**

* * *

><p>They decided to walk to the grocery store, even though it was not close from where they were at all. It was still early, and they were in the mood for a walk.<p>

Rachel was jumping and squealing from excitement; internally obviously, even though she was sure Quinn could feel her excitement.

Quinn was joyous. She hadn't felt like that in a while and she hadn't realized how much she missed it until now. She found herself intoxicated by Rachel's excitement and she loved it.

They were walking hand in hand, fingers intertwined, stealing glances at each other in a comfortable silence. There was no need for words at that moment; they were just enjoying the walk, their company, the warmth of their hands.

It took them 30 minutes to get to the store, it would've been 20 but Rachel insisted they stopped at a "wish fountain" and that they threw in a quarter each.

As soon as they got to the store and Quinn took a cart it was obvious they were not just going to walk around trying to decide what to buy.

No!

They were on a mission! Rachel was on full Quest mode! And Quinn found that entirely endearing and smiled all the time they were there.

Rachel was leading them from isle to isle, she was so focused she didn't notice when she left Quinn behind and when she did she was exasperated…

"Quinn, could you hurry? Why are you suddenly so slow?"

Quinn huffed, it was obvious Rachel didn't realize how fast she was walking!

"Sorry Rach! It's just hard to catch up with you when you're basically running and I'm here pushing the cart trying to run behind you… you wouldn't want me running over anyone would you?"

Rachel stopped and turned around giving Quinn a serious look that made her want to chuckle, it was the face she'd always make when she was trying not to laugh because she had an argument to win, and Quinn could already see herself giving into whatever smart response Rachel was going to give her.

"Well Quinn, if you feel that the burden is too much for you to handle, or that you are not fast enough I will gladly push the cart myself while you go sit somewhere else _not_ slowing me down. We were going to go to the wine section and get that red wine you love so much so that you could enjoy a glass while _I _cooked dinner for _us_. But since you are clearly not feeling up to the task I will take the cart from you, reduce all the shopping to half and cook only for myself while you order Chinese or some other type of take-out, because let me tell you right now, _I _will NOT cook for a slow old lady like yourself Fabray."

After that she walked to Quinn, who apparently had dislocated her jaw and was just standing there in awe, and made the move to take the cart away from her. But Quinn just held onto it with all her strength.

"I am _**not **_slow! And I am most certainly not _old_ Berry! And if you think I am eating Chinese while you enjoy home made dinner you are out of your mind! So, _I_ suggest _you_ start to walk since _you're_ just standing there making _us_ waste time".

Quinn raised her brow and made a sign with her hand telling her to keep moving which made Rachel laugh and shake her head but she turned around and kept walking to the wine section, obviously pleased with herself. She wasn't sure where that came from, but it felt right, she felt right. And Quinn felt it too, that spark, that Rachel Berry she had always loved. And they both allowed themselves to just sink in the moment and truly enjoy.

They were in the store for about 45 minutes before heading to the POS to get charged, and from what Quinn gathered, Rachel was going to cook some sort of pasta, which was perfect since that was the only thing she actually knew how to cook! But really, Quinn didn't care what they ate, she was just excited that Rachel was cooking for her again!

This felt strangely new to her; them being together like this, Rachel feeling excited, the fact that she was actually relaxed, the both of them just enjoying time together. Why did it feel so new to her? It was ridiculous! They had been together forever! She looked at the smiling face in front of her; all the happiness and excitement that the beautiful brunette in front of her was radiating seemed as if it had come out from a dream, a dream she had a long time ago, or a memory. Looking at her, seeing that huge shinny smile Quinn remembered all the times she used to watch Rachel during Glee Club. She had always enjoyed watching Rachel smile, it gave her a feeling of hope and peace, especially when she was pregnant, watching Rachel just be herself always made things better and she couldn't remember if she had ever told Rachel that, or if she had said it enough.

Rachel turned around to find intense hazel eyes looking at her. She could tell Quinn was lost in her own thoughts, those gorgeous eyes looking at her, without really seeing anything else. She was tempted to make Quinn snap out of her thoughts but, if she was really honest, she was actually enjoying it, feeling Quinn's eyes on her like that, it always made her feel like she was really the only person on Earth for Quinn and it made her feel warm inside in a way she couldn't really describe, it reminded her of the way Quinn used to look at her in highschool before she told her she liked her.

Rachel remembered the times she would turn around on Glee Club just to find Quinn looking at her, eyes stuck on her, mind wandering in unknown places, small warm smile, head tilted slightly to the side… yeah, this was just like that, just like the days when she wondered what was that funny feeling she had every time she looked at Quinn, or every time Quinn looked at her, or every time they were together; with the difference that now, she knew what that feeling was.

They were both woken up from their day dream by the cashier telling them to move so she could charge them. Quinn smiled shyly and Rachel blushed at the feeling of being caught doing something that was not for anyone else to see.

Quinn, who was still pushing the cart, moved quickly so that she could beat Rachel to the cashier and she made Rachel jump at the suddenness of her movement. Once she was standing next to Rachel she had a sudden urge to have her closer, an urge that both surprised her and pleased her; she hadn't have an impulse like that one in a couple of months and she loved that it was still inside her. She grabbed Rachel from the waist with one hand and pulled her closer, then she gave her a small, yet extremely sweet kiss in the forehead as she breathed all of Rachel's scents, her perfume, her shampoo. She breathed in as much as she could before she, reluctantly, pulled away and said sweetly to Rachel's ear.

"I'm paying Rach".

All Rachel could do was nod.

All she could do was stand there with her eyes closed and nod, she wasn't sure what Quinn had just said, and she didn't really care. Quinn had kissed her and held her close out of the blue! She could still feel Quinn's hand on her waist, she could still Quinn's lips on her forehead. Quinn's perfume was still impregnated in her senses and Rachel felt as if she was high, high on Quinn.

Then she processed Quinn's words and her jaw fell, Quinn had completely played her!

"No! Quinn! You're not being fair! This was my idea and it should be me paying! Not you!"

She stomped her foot and pouted, trying her best to look outraged and even hurt, but the pout wasn't reaching her eyes, those were still hypnotized by the feeling of Quinn surrounding her.

Quinn laughed at Rachel's failed attempt and just held out the receipt for her to see.

"Too late Rach, it's already been paid….. By _me_ I might add".

She said those last words with a complete victory grin on her face which only made Rachel pout harder, which made her look even more cute in Quinn's opinion.

They took a taxi back to their apartment because they both wanted to get there as soon as possible.

Quinn couldn't wait to get there so that Rachel could finally cook.

Rachel couldn't wait to get there so that she could continue to put her plan in motion.

As soon as they got there, Quinn rushed to open the door (holding it for Rachel to enter first of course), and into the kitchen. She started taking out all the groceries and putting them on the kitchen table excitedly.

Rachel looked at her while she did all that, what was Quinn doing? It was barely lunch time and she expected that Rachel cooked dinner so early?

"Baby, what are you doing?"

She watched with amusement as Quinn stopped what she was doing and looked at her with evident confusion in her eyes.

"Well, you said we bought all these so that you could cook right? So I am setting it up here so that you'll have everything near and you won't be distracted!"

Rachel chuckled and shook her head, earning a look from Quinn that clearly said "_What?"_

"It's not even 4 Quinn! How am I supposed to cook dinner in the middle of the afternoon? It wouldn't be dinner anymore, it would be lunch. And while I could use this to cook lunch we'd have to go out again to get more supplies for dinner and, quite frankly, that would ruin the plans I had for this evening."

She took a couple steps closer to Quinn and with a playful tone she said;

"You said that we would do whatever I wanted today, and I want to lie down on the couch and watch the movies you just bought for me."

And before Quinn could say anything, she walked away to their living room and sat down on the couch.

Quinn stood still four a couple of seconds in the kitchen, twice it had been that Rachel took over like that, twice in a day she had effectively taken Quinn's breath away and made her heart beat faster and Quinn rediscovered how much she loved that. She hurried after Rachel and put Kiss Me Kate on their DVD and she settled comfortably next to Rachel.

10 minutes into the movie Quinn still couldn't take her eyes off of Rachel. There was a spark on Rachel's eyes that hadn't been there in who knows how long. Quinn remembered how Rachel's eyes would shine like that every time she talked about singing and Broadway and the play she was in, but she couldn't remember when was the last time she had seen it; actually she couldn't remember when had been the last time she talked with Rachel about any of that and she couldn't help frowning.

Meanwhile, Rachel had noticed that Quinn was not seeing the movie because she was watching her, but she pretended not to because she didn't want her to look away. She liked the attention, it made her heart beat faster and it made her feel butterflies on her stomach, but it also made her want to smile and keeping that smile from appearing was the hardest thing to do.

"_Breathe Rachel! If she notices you know she's staring at you she'll look away!"_

But, how could she breathe when those gorgeous hazel eyes were looking right at her? How could she not smile when the prettiest girl she had ever met couldn't see anything else but her?

All she wanted was to feel like she was the only person Quinn saw, the only person that Quinn cared about, and in that moment she could feel it again.

How could she not smile at that feeling?

"_Just focus on the movie Rachel. Don't make her realize you know. No matter how fast your heart is beating, just hope she doesn't hear it!"_

Quickly Rachel took the remote and turned the volume up a little more, a song started and without even thinking about she started to sing along to the movie, she heard a giggle next to her and finally decided to turn around and what she saw made her heart beat even faster. Quinn had a look of pure adoration in her eyes and Rachel suddenly forgot the lyrics and could do nothing else but to smile and hope that she wouldn't have a sudden heart attack.

She leaned into Quinn and took one of the girl's arms to put it around her shoulders while she intertwined their fingers. She almost sighed at the feeling of Quinn holding her. She could feel the shallow breathes and she could hear how rapidly Quinn's heart was beating, just like her own. She couldn't believe her own excitement, Quinn had been looking at her and their hearts were even speeding in unison, it took all of her self control to not hold Quinn tighter to her.

After her heart sped down a little bit, she let herself get lost in Quinn's warmth and started to drift into sleep, she wasn't necessarily tired and they did sleep next to each other every night, but this was different; they didn't hold each other anymore and the feeling of Quinn surrounding her gave her such peace that she just let herself go.

Rachel woke up after about 45 minutes, she wasn't sure what she was dreaming about, but it really didn't matter, all that mattered was that when she woke up she was still in Quinn's arms. She moved as carefully as she could so that she wouldn't wake up the girl holding her, she looked at her and had a kind of déjà-vu from that same morning. She couldn't believe how beautiful she was, and she couldn't believe she was still there holding her.

She tried to move away but as soon as their bodies stopped having contact Quinn groaned, still in her sleep, and moved so that she pulled Rachel close to her again and her heart skipped a beat; she let Quinn pulled her in again and when she heard the sleeping girl sigh against her hair she felt like crying, and jumping, and singing all at the same time!

She was just so happy!

She just rested her head on Quinn's shoulder and let herself go back into a peaceful sleep.

Another half an hour later, she woke up to the feeling of someone running their fingers through her hair, she didn't open her eyes because she wanted to enjoy it as much as she could, she just cuddled closer pretending to be asleep, and that earned her Quinn's laugh.

"Hey Rach, I know you're awake!"

It was barely above a whisper but it made the moment even more perfect. Quinn knew she was awake and she hadn't moved away. Rachel looked up and she couldn't stop herself to stare a little at the girl's lips, she missed them so bad! She wanted to kiss her, but still she wasn't sure if she should.

"_Just do it Rachel! If she moves away you can always pretend you were just sitting up."_

She was nervous, she didn't want Quinn to move away, it would hurt so much!

"_Kiss her! Now's the perfect opportunity!"_

So she did, she moved up a little bit and met Quinn's lips with a quick shy kiss before retaking her place on the girl's shoulder, she moved away so quickly she couldn't see Quinn's bright smile at the action. What she did notice was how the girl holding her swallowed hard before she spoke.

"Hey Rach? I know it's not even 6 but, I am starving and to be quite honest, I can't seem to get the idea of you cooking out of my head, so… how about we make it a late lunch-early dinner instead?"

There was something about the way Quinn made the question that made it impossible for Rachel to argue with her, how could she? After they had held hands all day, after they had cuddled and fell asleep together, after she had mustered the courage to steal that kiss… how could she refuse the butterflies in her stomach?

"Yeah, I guess we could. I'm a little bit hungry myself so I guess it can't hurt to have dinner a little early for today".

She tried to stand up but Quinn's arms were still holding her.

"We do have to get up you know?"

Quinn shook her head and held her even tighter.

"Quinn! I cannot cook from the couch baby".

Quinn nodded this time, and Rachel could feel her smiling against her.

"Baby, as much as I would love to stay here like this, I do need to start cooking if you want to eat any time soon".

Quinn sighed loudly at this and slowly loosened her grip on her.

"Fine then! If you must"

Rachel chuckled at Quinn's dramatics and moved up from the couch, she took a couple of steps towards the kitchen and noticed Quinn had yet to stand up.

"Quinn? Are you going to just sit there?"

Quinn looked at her from the couch with a mischievous spark on her eyes and a smile that made her look like a 10 year old.

"Well, yeah. You said you were going to be the one cooking while I just chilled with a nice glass of wine, did you not?"

"I never said I was also serving you the wine Quinn. It would just slow me down, and you are more than capable of doing that yourself."

She turned around and heard Quinn laughed and then get up.

Once they were both in the kitchen, Quinn went straight for the bottle of wine, poured herself a glass and just remained there watching Rachel cook.

Rachel's excitement quickly turned into nervousness, she wanted everything to be perfect and with Quinn there watching her, the pressure was on. Her hands were shaking and her heart was beating fast, and she was having trouble remembering the recipe; she was a nervous wreck, but she would never let Quinn know that. This was her moment to shine, and she wasn't an actress if she couldn't pull it off.

"_Oh God… Breathe, just breathe! … How much time did the pasta have to boil? … Oh God… How thin do I have to slice this? Is the sauce okay?... Did I over cook the pasta? Are the vegetables done? Oh God...Oh God…"_

Rachel was on the verge of a full panic attack and she could feel Quinn's eyes on her, which didn't help at all.

"_Surely Quinn noticed by now this is a mess… She will probably hate it!... I could always make her go get another bottle of wine and get her drunk so she won't notice how terrible it is…"_

She turned around and saw Quinn looking at her with amazement and adoration in her eyes and she felt her nerves calm down a little bit.

"_It's okay, you're okay. Quinn hasn't realized anything yet, it's gonna be fine. Breathe, just breathe!"_

Quinn was just completely impressed.

"_How can she be perfect at everything she does? When she sings, when she acts, when she sleeps, even when she cooks she's perfect!"_

Rachel looked at her and smiled and Quinn's world turned around once again, like it did every time Rachel smiled at her like that.

After about 40 minutes or so dinner was ready and Rachel's heart rate had dropped to normal. Quinn took out the plates and told Rachel to sit down while she served, she poured herself and Rachel a glass of wine and they sat down to eat, together.

Rachel waited for Quinn to take the first bite of the food she made for them, she was suddenly nervous again and so she started rambling.

"You know Quinn, if you don't like it you can say so right? I mean, I'm not the best cooking and I can barely do other than the occasional breakfast, so it's okay if you don't like it. We can order take out, or we can go out. What ever you like, just don't feel obligated to eat it if you don't want to, I will totally understand. I just don't want you to feel bad or like I will be hurt if it doesn't taste right. You can tell, in fact, you _must_ tell me…"

"Rach, I can't eat if you keep rambling like that. And I would very much like to taste this. It looks awesome, and every thing you do is always perfect!"

"Thanks, but. I mean it Quinn! If it's not good…"

"Rach… will you let me eat?"

Quinn was looking straight at her, with her bite ready in the fork, almost in her mouth and with her eye brow raised. Rachel instantly stopped talking and nodded nervously; giving Quinn the signal to, finally, eat it.

"Ohmygod Rach! This is truly delicious! I am not even joking! And if you're not planning on eating I will gladly eat it all myself!"

That was all Rachel needed to hear to start eating, and it was delicious. She was proud of herself for not burning anything, but she was even more proud of the smile Quinn had while eating.

They were half way through their food when Rachel's phone started ringing, she recognized the ringtone and confusion swept over her.

Quinn noticed how Rachel changed her expression the instant her phone started ringing.

"Who is it Rach? Is it important? Shouldn't you answer it?"

"It's from the theatre; I don't know what they want. They know it is my day off today…"

Quinn's stomach suddenly turned and her excitement went down considerably, she couldn't be certain but she knew what was coming. It was not rare at all, but she still hated it.

"Oh… Well… Should you take it?"

"_I really hope she doesn't. They probably want her to go down there right now. Fucking timing they have!"_

"Yeah, I guess I should. See what they want so that we can continue with our day".

"Sure Rach… Answer it then…"

Quinn tried to give her a smile, but she knew…

"_Continue this? Not likely Rach…"_

Rachel picked up in the living room where she had left her phone, and Quinn looked at her sadly as she paced, when she saw Rachel hanging up and sitting down her suspicions were confirmed.

"So, you have to go?"

Rachel looked at her with worry and a little bit of frustration and nodded. Quinn nodded back and started picking up the plates.

Rachel walked back to the kitchen and tried reaching Quinn but she moved away putting the dishes on the sink.

"Quinn it is an emergency, the other girl didn't show up and…"

"Rachel its fine. It's your job and you can't say no. I understand. Just go get ready and I'll clean this up."

There was disappointment and a little bit of anger in Quinn's voice which made Rachel feel like all the day they just had never happened. She just walked to get her purse and her coat and walked back to Quinn, who wouldn't look at her.

"I'll be back later okay? Maybe we can actually watch the movie this time!"

Quinn just nodded and have her a quick sad smile and turned around again.

When Rachel was on the door she turned around and saw Quinn and it looked like she was holding back tears, and Rachel wished she never took the phone call.

"I'm sorry Quinn, I'll make it up to you okay? I promise"

"Yeah… Okay."

Was all that Quinn said before Rachel closed the door behind her and left.

"Whatever Rach, maybe next time we will actually have time to finish eating".

Quinn didn't mean the anger in her words but she couldn't help it, she was getting used to the fact that Rachel was always been called by emergency to the theatre and it bothered her, it bothered her that she couldn't let herself hope they could finish a day together because Rachel always had to leave. And she was mad because she didn't have to be so angry, it was Rachel's dream after all!

"Like dating a freaking doctor…"

She finished the dishes, holding back a couple of tears. She put the rest of the food in the fridge and the scorch back in the bottle of wine when her cell phone rang, it was a text message and from the ringtone she knew it was from Rachel. She took a couple of breaths before reading the text.

**Rach: Wait up for me? :(**

Quinn didn't know if she wanted to or not, she didn't know if she was going to be able to not be upset when Rachel came back, and she didn't want to fight. But, she knew it wasn't Rachel's fault and the fact that she was reaching out to her instead of making excuses made her want to try.

**Quinn: I'll try.**

Rachel saw the text and smiled, she knew Quinn was disappointed, but she was going to try and that made her think that maybe the day had been worth something.

**Quinn: Good Luck **

Quinn sent that second text knowing that Rachel probably needed it. It didn't matter how angry she might be, all she wanted was for her star to shine, that had been her wish at the wish fountain earlier.

She had wished for Rachel to shine.

She sat down on the couch with a book and started reading, hoping that by the time Rachel got back the feeling she had right there would be gone because it was getting harder to hide her disappointment after every failed date.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello again! I want to thank you all for keeping up with the story, and those who just joined, I sincerely thank you for reading and subscribing! You guys seriously make my day!**

**This is a short chapter, and a sweet one, I hope. I didn't want the day to end so bitterly for them so here's the final result.**

**Here goes to hoping you'll like it!**

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><p>The performance was finally over and Rachel was on her dressing room getting ready to leave. She saw her reflection on the mirror in front of her, the fake eye lashes, the exaggerated make up, and she remembered how excited she was the first time she saw her reflection back at her with that same make up and how both times there was only one thing on her mind, Quinn. But this time it was very different than the first time, that first time she remembered feeling ecstatic! She had reached her dream and she had her dream girl waiting on her too, and they would go back to <em>their<em> home together, and they'd make love and they'd sleep wrapped in each others arms only to wake up the same way in the morning.

But not this time, this time her thoughts weren't as hopeful, she didn't know if Quinn was waiting for her or if she was asleep. She missed the times when Quinn would wait for her on the backstage door to just hold her hand and tell her she had been perfect that night or, in the nights Quinn couldn't wait for her or couldn't go to the show, she missed going to her dressing room after the show and finding a simple gardenia with a golden ribbon around it waiting for her. She sighed at the memories and she felt a mixture of anger and sadness, every thing had gone so well earlier! She had managed to get her old Quinn back, even if for a few hours, and it had all been perfect and then it all had gotten screwed up.

"_Why did you have to take that phone call Rachel? You knew what they were going to ask you! You knew it! Why didn't you just let it ring? Why didn't you tell Quinn it wasn't important?"_

She dropped her head in her hands, she was exhausted and all she wanted to do was go home, home to Quinn. Even if she didn't know if Quinn was still awake she just wanted to go home and crawl into bed with her.

_Her _Quinn…

A thought came suddenly and she lifted her head so quickly she felt a little bit dizzy…

Why did Quinn tell her to answer? She knew who was calling, she knew what they were going to ask! It was not the first time they called her on her day off! And by the look on Quinn's face it was evident she knew too… then why did she tell her to answer the phone? Did she want Rachel to leave? But then why would she have gotten so mad? Or did she tell her to answer hoping she didn't?

She was confused, she didn't want to take the call and she was hoping Quinn saw that, and for a moment it seemed like she did but then she told her to answer it!

"Ugh! It's all just a mess!"

She reached for her phone and was just a little bit disappointed that there was nothing from Quinn there. She wasn't really _that_ naïve, she knew that just because they had a beautiful day together didn't mean everything was just going to be instantly back to the way it used to be but, that didn't stop her from hoping that Quinn would at least do _something_!

She put her phone down and started getting changed, she removed the fake eye lashes and the make up, she put her head up in a ponytail and washed her face. Then she took of her clothes and changed into regular clothes. She always did her routine that way because she didn't want any make up in her clothes, and also because that way she could just take a quick shower when she went home and go straight to bed.

It took her up to 30 minutes to do all of that, and all that time she couldn't stop the same questions from before from popping into her mind.

_Why did she have to take that call?_

_Why did Quinn said nothing to her to keep her from coming?_

_Why didn't she just say no?_

_Why was Quinn so mad when she told her to come?_

_Why did Quinn say she understood if she clearly was upset by it?_

"Why did I have to take the damn call!?"

She grabbed her things and made her way out of the theatre. Looked at phone once again and nothing, still nothing!

"_Gosh! She's so infuriating! I don't even know why she's mad! She agreed, she told me she understood, she told me to pick up the phone… She did… She…"_

"Ugh!"

Rachel continued to walk and tears were starting to form in her eyes, apparently every freaking place in that theatre had memories of the two of them together!

Two steps. There! That corner, first time Quinn kissed her in the theatre.

Two steps. To the right, there! The stairs where Quinn held her because her co-star had told her she had been terrible.

A step. There! The place where Quinn yelled at said co-star telling him to "_Back off and better go learn his fucking dialogue because after 5 months everybody could still notice Rachel guiding him through it"_.

Three steps to the left. There, under that door! The place where Quinn had hidden after Rachel's first performance because she didn't know if she was allowed backstage.

There! Inside that prop room! Another memory!

There! On those bathrooms! Another memory!

Every inch of that place reminded her of something and she just wanted to get out so she started walking a bit faster trying to get away from it all, she just wanted to focus on _now_ and how to get it right again, she just needed to find a way to fix it and start all over again. And dwelling on memories was not going to get her anywhere. So she just shook her head, trying to shake it off and her memories betrayed her once again.

She just came to a complete halt when she saw, out from the corner of her eye, a specific spot. It was just a wall but it had a special memory in it, a simple moment one that gave her mixed emotions.

She remembered sneaking inside the theatre just 6 months after their arrival to New York.

_It had been Quinn's idea but she didn't tell Rachel because she knew she would be opposed to it. _

_Sneaking inside the theatre? At night? What if they got caught? What if they got arrested? Or .. or deported back to Lima or something?_

_Quinn could totally imagine Rachel objecting over those subjects, so she decided to make it a surprise._

"_Quinn! Tell me where are we going? And why am I blindfolded? And why is it suddenly so quiet?"_

_Quinn laughed as quietly as she could and held Rachel's hand tighter._

"_Just trust me Rach. It is going to be worth it, and you will absolutely love me even more after it!"_

_Rachel huffed and Quinn kissed her sweetly in the cheek to make her relax._

"_We're almost there sweetie. Just 5 more steps… careful there Rachel! Lift your feet!"_

"_Quinn! It would be easier if you'd actually let me see! And why are there so many steps!? You didn't bring me somewhere scary or abandoned or something like that right?"_

"_Relax baby, why are you so nervous? Don't you trust me?"_

"_Please Quinn! You know I do, but… it's just so quiet! And you better get rid of that pout! Just because I can't see it doesn't mean I can't hear it! And it is certainly not appreciated right now."_

_Quinn laughed and the echo could be heard and Rachel shivered. It really was creepy and she was starting to get extremely anxious. _

"_Quinn? Baby? Are we there yet?"_

"_Just… walk a little bit more. Riiiight here. Okay stop! I'm gonna take the blind off but you can't open your eyes until I tell you okay?"_

_Rachel nodded and Quinn kissed her while taking the blind of. She gave one more peck to Rachel's lips and told her she could open her eyes._

_And so Rachel did._

_And she was amazed._

_They were standing in the middle of the stage inside an actual Broadway theatre and it took Rachel's breathe away._

_Quinn had brought a couple of flashlights, big ones, which she placed on the floor so that it was not entirely dark and then she hugged Rachel from behind placing a kiss on her neck and whispering to her ear:_

"_This is it Rach. This is going to be your stage. This is going to be the place where all your dreams are going to come true. You made it baby"_

_Rachel felt the tears starting to stream down her face, tears of happiness and joy. She turned around so that she cup Quinn's cheeks. She was so happy to be there, to be there with her. She kissed her nose with a playful, almost childish kiss and rested her forehead on Quinn's._

"_We made it Quinn"_

_She felt as the girl smiled against her forehead and she smiled too, and at the exact moment when she was going to pull her down so that their lips met they heard a noise, and then footsteps, and then a voice asking who was there and realization hit her… just as she hit Quinn on the arm._

"_Quiiiiiin! You snuck us in here! We're so getting arrested! Oh gosh Quinn! What were you thinking? And why are you laughing!? This is not funny!"_

_Rachel was whispering in a hysterical tone and Quinn was doing her best not to laugh too loudly._

"_Come on baby! Let's get out of here! Run!"_

_And so they did, they ran out of the stage and into the backstage area, and as they ran Rachel could clearly see what it would be like when she finally made it there. All the people rushing to get changed, to get their mics working, singing out loud, running their lines one last time. She saw a door that had a paper sign on it that read "Wardrobe" and in that second she got distracted she tripped and on her attempt to not fall she pulled Quinn down with her and they were both on the ground trying not to laugh._

_Quinn was lying on her back and Rachel quickly laid on her side facing her._

"_Thank you. For doing this, for bringing me here, for being here, I can't tell you how much this means, how happy you make me, how much I Love You and how it makes me fall even more in love with you to know that you will always support me."_

_And this time it was Quinn's turn to tear up._

_She turned her head to look at the stunning girl in front of her and she couldn't believe how beautiful she looked at that moment. Her eyes shinning with excitement, with hope, with love. Her hair falling on one side and a stunning smile drawn over her face._

"_I will always be proud of you Rach. And I will always help you pursue your dreams, and I will always hold your hand when you finally get them. This is only the beginning love."_

_They stared at each other and saw nothing else but love. They saw each other's future, their hopes. They both saw their dreams come true. And, as it often happens when people are so in love with each other, they acted simultaneously, knowing what the other was thinking without saying anything._

_They stood up and walked towards each other. Rachel held Quinn by the neck and Quinn held Rachel by the waist and started walking until Rachel's back was pressed against the wall. Their bodies pressed against each other, breathing the same air and hearts beating at unison. They both held the other one tighter without breaking eye contact; they could feel the intensity of the moment building around them, in them, through them and into the other. It was as if the universe had been watching them and decided to join them in it, making sure to reassure them that it was, in fact, just the beginning. Gravity was pulling them closer, just like their hearts had done that night when Quinn found her way to Rachel._

_Quinn slid one of her hands to Rachel's face, caressing her cheek slowly, then outlining every inch of it with her fingers, and Rachel couldn't move, couldn't stop looking into those hazel intense eyes. She could see them following her own fingers, memorizing, drawing, creating, and when those fingers touched her lips she whimpered. She couldn't hold it back, it was all too much, and she kissed those fingers and then the lips of the owner of those fingers. The owner of her heart_

_And when they kissed everything exploded. The universe exploded, the theatre exploded, they exploded. And when they broke apart and met each others eyes they saw each other, and they saw perfection, and they saw…_

"_Forever"_

_They said it at the same time, as if closing a pact with each other and the universe. And everything was perfect. And no one had any doubts. And all that mattered was each other. _

Rachel's heart both hurt and swooned at the memory, tears formed in her eyes and she didn't know it they were happy or sad tears. She wanted to stay in the memory for ever, just revel in the feelings she had that night and never let go. She just wanted Quinn, her Quinn, that Quinn, to hold her and to promise her forever again.

And she was going to get just that.

She felt her phone vibrate and she couldn't believe when she saw it was a text from Quinn! She made a double take just to make sure she didn't imagine it.

**Quinn: **

"_What!?"_

Rachel stared at the text as her excitement was replaced with total confusion!

Why did Quinn send her an empty text? Was she asleep and accidentally send it? Or did she send it by mistake?

She put her phone away and made her way, hastily, to the exit door and almost knocked someone as soon as she placed a foot outside the theatre.

"Oh my… I am so sorry! Are you all right?"

She was still in shock after the hit and didn't really look at the person who she had almost thrown to the ground and was surprised when that person started laughing.

"_Oh God, I must have hit them in the head and they have a concussion now! Oh what am I …. Wait a minute!"_

She blinked a couple of times, as if to erase all the confusion washing over, and a smile slowly formed when she recognized that laughter.

"What are you doing here? I honestly thought you would be asleep by now! Are you okay? You are not hurt or concussed or anything right?"

"What? No no, I am perfectly fine Rach, don't worry! Are you okay? I was just sending you another text and I didn't even notice when you opened the door and-"

Now it was Rachel's turn to laugh and Quinn's to be confused.

"_Another _text? Oh! You mean another _empty _text?"

Quinn looked down and blushed and Rachel just laughed harder, grabbing the blushing girl's arm for support.

"Yeah, I uhm… Well, I wanted to surprise you, but it was taking you a lot of time to come out here and I couldn't very well ask you when you were coming out here or you'd figure it out but it is getting really late , and cold, and I just had to find a way to make you hurry up!"

Rachel's attention had drifted but Quinn and passed onto what Quinn was holding with her right hand.

"_Oh God…"_

"Quinn? Uhm… Is that...?"

Quinn raised her face and looked into brown eyes that were now looking at her with something between, hope, nostalgia and excitement. Following the Rachel's eyes she realized what she was looking at and raised it so that she could see it properly, and she could see as those brown big eyes shone with happiness and… unshed tears?

"Rach, uhm… Well, this is for you… obviously. I just, I hadn't give you one in a while and I thought you'd like it, you've been really sweet today and I didn't want us to end up fighting when the day had been so perfect!"

Rachel was shaking a little bit and Quinn was starting to have somewhat of a panic attack because she didn't think Rachel would react this way. She really didn't mean to upset her! She just wanted to make her smile, not cry!

Rachel was just lost in a wave of happiness and shock and for a moment she thought she had actually fallen and hit her head and was in some kind of memory induced dream or something like that. She let out a small chuckle extending her arm to take what Quinn had and looked at it in total amazement.

"Quinn, this… it's beautiful! Thank you baby! You have no idea what this means to me right now!"

Quinn let out the breath she was holding and hugged Rachel with relief.

"So you _do_ like it? For a moment there I thought…"

Rachel broke the hug and shook her head, trying hard to find the words that eluded her at the moment.

"It is perfect baby!"

Both girls were beaming now and Quinn kissed Rachel's nose.

"I am happy you liked it Rach. Now let's go home okay? It really is getting late."

Rachel yawned and nodded without taking her eyes off of the precious object in her hand. Quinn offered her her arm and she gladly took it, resting her head on the other girl's shoulder and closing her eyes when Quinn gave her a quick yet sweet kiss in the head.

They started to make their way back to their apartment in silence, but with matching smiles.

Quinn holding Rachel's arm and Rachel holding a beautiful gardenia with a golden ribbon around it.


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Once again it took me ages to update, I am really sorry about that. But, ugh, work and real life and such! I love all of your reviews and comments. There will be confrontation and it will be soon…. **

**Hopefully you won't hate me :-/**

**A/N 2.0: Normal letters are present time, **_**italic **_**are past. Just like I have been doing, only this is immediate past from that same day.**

**A/N 2.1: I am posting this in two parts because I owe you at least something for all the time that has passed.**

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><p>You know how sometimes you have an amazing day, that ends up with an amazing night and you think that waking up will be just as amazing and that the next day will still let you feel as good and it turns out to be the exact opposite?<p>

Rachel was feeling just like that…

She was sitting on the couch in her dressing room, fuming. She had been sitting there for nearly half an hour with the star-covered package in her hands feeling frustrated and angry at the way her day was turning out.

_/*/*/_

_She had woken up to find herself alone in her bed, all traces of Quinn's warmth gone, she looked at her clock and she realized it was half past ten which meant it had been almost two hours since Quinn had left; it was a Saturday and she had an early class, so Rachel groaned, got out of bed and headed towards the kitchen to make herself a small breakfast. Cereal perhaps, or coffee, or fruit she wasn't sure._

_She was still debating what to eat when she spotted her gardenia on the kitchen table and she gasped. How could she have forgotten to put in on water the night before?_

"_Oh…"_

_She remembered Quinn told her she would put in on water while she showered and got to bed, but apparently she forgot to do it and now her flower was basically agonizing on the table. With a small growl of annoyance she rushed to put in on a vase and sung a song to it in efforts to make it live again._

"_Hush little flower don't you die_

_Mamma's gonna give you_

_Some fresh cool water"_

_Okay, granted, it didn't rhyme, but she wasn't good at rhyming and she didn't think her gardenia would mind. _

_When she felt satisfied with the state of her flower, she turned to the fridge to get herself some cereal and milk glancing over to her watch a couple of times trying to count how much time until Quinn was home again…_

/*/*/

Rachel finally decided to open the package she had been holding. There was a small note on the front of the star wrapping.

"_I Remember"_

It was in Quinn's handwriting and she read it at least 5 times trying to figure it out…

What did Quinn remember?

Had she forgotten something?

Had Rachel forgotten something Quinn remembered?

She gave up on trying to decipher it and began to, slowly and carefully, unwrap her present. Her heart beat speeding up and her hands shaking as she came closer to fully unwrapping it.

Her breath caught up in her throat when she finally saw the content; the Celine Dion CD they had talked about the day before.

"_I Remember"_

Now it all made sense, and if it had been any other day the gesture would have made her heart flutter and it would've drawn an enormous smile on her face… but not today. Today was a different story. Today it only made her grow even more frustrated at Quinn and her contradictory behavior.

_/*/*/_

_It was now 11:15 am and still no signs of Quinn. _

_Rachel had taken a shower, cleaned up the room a bit, and was now sitting on the couch in front of the tv looking at the clock waiting for it to strike 11:30 because that's when Quinn would show up, or so she thought. She had found a note on her pillow when she went back to the bedroom:_

_I had to leave early for class, against my will, so I didn't wake you._

_I'll be back by 11:30, earlier if I manage to._

_Quinn_

_She was ecstatic! Not only did they get to spend a whole day together (well almost), but they were also going to be spending the morning together? She couldn't believe her luck. Granted, she was still a little annoyed that Quinn had left her flower out so recklessly and she was not going to let that slip, but her excitement was just too much._

…_too much to be true…_

_11:32 and Quinn wasn't home yet. Rachel was getting rather impatient, a collateral effect of her excitement, and she sent a text to her missing girlfriend._

_**To Quinn: Hey baby, where are you? I still owe you a movie! :) **_

_11:40 and Quinn still hadn't arrived nor texted back._

_**To Quinn: Quinn, you are late and you are never late. I am starting to get a bit concerned. Where are you?**_

_11:55 and still no signs of Quinn. Rachel was on the verge between extremely worried and extremely annoyed._

_**To Quinn: This is rather rude of you Quinn. Not only are you now 25 minutes late, but are not even bothering to reply either. WHERE ARE YOU?**_

_12:10 and Rachel had had enough. She took her jacket and her purse and walked out of the apartment as she dialed Kurt's phone number._

/*/*/

After sitting on her dressing room couch for the better part of an hour, Rachel realized she had a show to prepare for and that she was already late so she, carefully, put the cd back inside the wrapping paper and inside her drawer for she had no desire, at all, to see it anymore; she was in a hurry and didn't need the distraction. What she needed was to clear her mind from everything that wasn't the performance she had to give and the character she had to play.

She picked up her hair in a loose ponytail to keep it from getting stained from the makeup and proceeded to powder her tan skin, adding some blush, some lip color, putting on her fake eye lashes and applying the heavy eye make up that was required. When she finished and looked at herself in the mirror she saw a completely different person staring back at her, barely recognizable and her mind drifted away to her brief meeting with Kurt.

_/*/*/_

_They had agreed to meet in a small café nearby a subway station that they knew was centric for both of them, their schedules were hectic and they didn't have much time._

_Kurt had gotten into LIM College in New York as well to study Fashion, so they remained friends. She had been there for him when he and Blaine broke up and when some of his designs got chosen for a small runway on campus; he had been there when she and Finn broke up and he had been in the audience when she performed the lead at her off-Broadway show. _

_And she needed him now, she needed him now more than ever. She needed his calm approach on things, she needed his advice and she needed him to use his empathy super powers (as she liked to call them) to help her get a fuller vision of the situation._

"_KURT! Kurt, Kurt, Kurt!"_

_As soon as she saw him approaching she ran to him, she was feeling restless and couldn't hold back anymore._

"_Geez Rachel! Calm down! You're going to give me a heart attack! What's going on? Wh..."_

_Her eyes were filled with tears and Kurt realized this wasn't one of her usual Rachel Berry "emergencies", which usually were just her having a small meltdown over nothingness, this was serious and his tone sobered._

"_Hey, hey honey. What's going on? Are you ok?"_

_Rachel shook her head, small tears running down her cheeks and a tiny whimper betrayed her. _

"_Oh honey…. Come here"_

_Kurt held out his arms for Rachel to step in and he held her in a tight embrace while she tried to control herself._

"_What's going on Rachel? What is it?"_

_From within Kurt's embrace, Rachel was inhaling shallow breaths in hopes that she would be able to speak, which she couldn't, she just managed to say a few words that she hoped Kurt would be able to get._

"_No…. Yeah… It's-It's Quinn… I…"_

_A sob wrecked through her ruining what little control she had acquired and she held tighter to the confused, and slightly worried, boy whose arms were holding her._

"_Hey honey, ssssh. It's gonna be ok. Ok? But… What happened? Is Quinn ok?"_

_Rachel's crying became harder and Kurt was beginning to panic._

"_Oh lord… She's in the hospital isn't she? Oh sweetie, is it serious? She's gonna be ok you know that right? ….. Rachel! Why are you here? You should be with her, you could've just told me to meet you there! Let's go! Let me call a cab- "_

"_Shut up Kurt! Quinn's alright, she's not at the hospital…. Well, not that I know of at least…"_

"_Oh, well, that's a relief I must say."_

_He gently loosened his embrace and pushed her off of him slightly so he could be able to look at her in the eyes. But she wouldn't let go of him, pressing her face against his chest, refusing to let go._

"_Rachel, honey, look at me please."_

_She shook her head and sniffed in response and Kurt untangled her and lifted her face._

"_Rachel, lets sit ok? I'll buy you a coffee how about that?"_

_He offered her a small smile which she almost replied to, only not quite achieving it. Her eyes were filling up again and Kurt squeezed her hand urging her to go with him._

/*/*/

She closed her eyes as hard as she could, apparently it was impossible for her to stop crying at all.

"Ok, calm down Rachel. This is not the time to break down ok? Focus."

She opened her eyes to find her own reflection staring back at her.

"You can do this."

She closed her eyes once again and took a deep, long breath to calm herself down, she still got somewhat nervous just before coming on stage and she wanted to clear her stomach from the whole other bunch of emotions she was feeling.

There was a knocking on her dressing room door and the door opened not even a second later, there was only one person who didn't bother waiting until she answered, so there was only one option as who it was entering her dressing room.

" 'Sup Berry!"

Her Co-Star and college friend; Andrew Holden.

" 'Sup Holden!"

He laughed at that and Rachel just rolled her eyes. It was their own secret handshake, it started one day in College where they had to do an improvisation playing as arch-nemesis, it was a spontaneous response from her part and even after all those years it still sounded foreign whenever she said it.

"You ready to knock the socks out of everyone in the audience today or what? I need you to shine so no one will notice how lacking I am next to you!"

She actually laughed at that. And just as she was going to answer him, her phone buzzed announcing she was receiving a phone call, she was about to take it when she realized who it was.

_Quinn_

That was the name on the display screen, and Rachel was confused… she was definitely NOT expecting that.

"Oh, let me guess who it is on the phone…"

"Yeah… Its Quinn"

/*/*/

"_Its Quinn"_

"_You told me that already honey… But, what about Quinn?"_

_Kurt was holding her hand and a single tear ran down her cheek._

"_I- I don't know what to do anymore"_


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Well, here it is! Finally! I'm sorry it takes me so long to update, work is a bitch and inspiration comes short at times. I hope you enjoy, I hope you think it was worth the wait. Angsty. Thank you for reading! Please R&R.**

**(Since I was in a hurry to post it, it ain't checked. All mistakes are mine.)**

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><p>"<em>I- I don't know what to do anymore"<em>

_They were sitting opposite each other inside a small café they found nearby. Kurt ordered an espresso with foam and Rachel a "Tropical Fruits" hot tea and was currently doing circular movements with her spoon in it, trying to focus on something other than her emotions._

"_I feel her slipping away Kurt, like she's drifting from me and I don't know how to stop it. At first I thought I was just imagining it and after a little while I thought it was like, a phase; you know how she's always been, she gets this moments where she locks herself inside her own little world only to snap out of it and she always talks to me. But she hasn't, she hasn't said a thing about it and, it's been a while. I mean, we both know she has never been the communicative type but we've been together for so long and she should've talked to me by now."_

_Kurt didn't know what else to do than to take a small sip of his coffee and nod, he was confused, he was definitely not expecting that. As far as he was concerned the girls were as in love with each other as they had always been. Quinn had always doted and adored Rachel and she had never been able to hide it. He couldn't wrap his head around Quinn being like Rachel was describing at the moment._

"_Usually I am able to read her, there's always something that gives her away but now? Nothing. There's nothing Kurt. Either she hasn't noticed or she just doesn't care. And I refuse to believe either!"_

_Even though she was trying to hide it, her voice broke on that last statement and Kurt noticed it. He noticed her shift from pure sadness to frustration when she dropped her head in her hands and stomped her foot, actually she stomped her foot so hard she hit the table and almost knocked over their beverages._

"_Ouch! Dammit"_

_The way her voice sounded it was impossible to deny she was crying now and Kurt's heart ached for her friend._

"_Rachel, sweetie. Look at me."_

_His voice was soft, soothing and a bit sad as well. _

"_Come on Rachel. Please, look at me"_

_But she didn't move, and he noticed the subtle movement of her shoulders as she tried to hide the fact that she was crying. Contrary to popular belief Rachel didn't like to make a scene, not anymore, over the years she had learned that scenes were meant to be done on stage with an audience, but not in public. She hated crying, like really crying; tears streaming, breath hitching, sobbing, being unable to talk and trembling. She hated it, and she hated when she was unable to control herself. Kurt was aware of this, and he knew what she was trying to do, so he scooted closer to her until their shoulders were touching, he pulled her closer to him and shook her gently._

"_Honey, there's no need for you to hold back. I'm here and no one else is paying attention, the place is basically empty. Besides, you should really take advantage of the fact that you can still do this sort of things without having paparazzi surrounding you."_

_She chuckled lightly at that and Kurt knew he had gotten through to her._

"_I just miss her so much Kurt"_

_He put his arm around her and she allowed him, resting her head in his shoulder as silent tears now made their way from her eyes, to her cheeks, to his shirt._

"_Sssh, honey. It will be ok. Everything will be ok. Just breathe, alright?"_

/*/*/

"Well, are you going to answer that or not?"

Rachel was still holding on to the phone but hadn't pressed answer on the screen, she was not sure she wanted to talk to her, she wasn't even sure if she could at the moment, she hasn't talked to Quinn since earlier that day and, boy, that didn't go well at all. She wasn't sure she would be able to focus on the show if she took that call.

The phone stopped buzzing only to restart a couple of seconds after. She clutched the phone tight in her hand and, with a long sigh, she put it down and inside a drawer, closing her eyes as she closed it.

"Well, well…. Honey moon phase is finally over, huh?"

Rachel shot him a warning gaze throught the mirror, she definitely was not in the mood for that at the moment.

"What? It took you guys a while, you've been together since the beginning of time, it was only a matter of time for-"

"Don't you have someplace else to be Andrew? Other than here, in my dressing room, being annoying? For example, your own dressing room? Practicing? I am not carrying you out there tonight, and we both know you need to practice your high notes. So why don't you just go away now?"

She turned around so she was facing him istead of his reflection in the mirror and she pointed him to the door, he seemed shocked at her reaction.

"Ah come on Rachel, I was just joking. There's no need for you to react that way, seriously."

"Just leave Andrew, now."

After a small staring contest, and noticing Rachel wasn't backing out of what she said, he stood up and left her dressing room with only a quick glance back at her before closing the door.

There was a lump in her throat and she knew tears would soon follow, she couldn't rub her eyes because she could ruin her make up and she didn't have time to retouch it again, she still needed to get her costume and warm up before the show. She just looked up to the ceiling, asking for a little bit more strength.

"_Everything will be ok. Just breathe"_

She thought to her self before shaking all those feelings off and walking out and heading to the wardrobe room.

/*/*/

"_How do you know that Kurt? How can you be so sure we are going to be ok? We are worlds apart! I don't… I can't even know what she's thinking half the time and she won't say anything. How are we going to be ok Kurt? Please, tell me because I honestly have no idea."_

_Rachel lifted up from her safety within his arms to look at him, and he almost felt like crying too, she looked just to sad, vulnerable and honestly clueless. She was lost and he couldn't acually do anything to help her._

"_I can't answer that swettie, all I know is that I've never seen anyone more inlove than you two, you even beat Brittany and Santana and they are nauseating."_

_Rachel smiles a little at that, but her smile is contrasted by the tears still making their way down her cheeks, Kurt hands her a napkin._

"_You managed to break into Quinn Fabray's walls, even if she's still a mystery to the rest of the world, you managed to break through. And she's the only one who can stop you from talking yourself into anxiety attacks over small things. We've all seen it and stuff like that, it doesn't just go away over night."_

_Rachel is cleaning the remains of tears off of her face but she smiles sadly at the sweet words her friend is giving her. She wants to believe in those words, she needs to but she's not sure she does anymore. _

"_I want to believe you Kurt, I want to so desperately… But I can't, I don't know, I just… I am not sure. It has been known to happen, marriages of decades suddenly ending, "perfect couples" breaking up out of the blue. And we all know Quinn and I are not the definition of a perfect couple."_

"_Well, you know what they say. Opposites attract, and you are opposites. You are unperfectly perfect for each other."_

"_Thanks but, I don't know. I just wish I knew what to do or what to say to get her to at least open up to me. Even if it would mean us breaking up, I just want her to talk to me. I even spent the whole day yesterday doing things she liked, cooking her breakfast, making an early dinner, buying movies. Everything! And even that backfired!"_

_She was getting angry and frustrated again and she needed to calm down, she was going to wear herself down and she still had to perform that day, so she tried taking a deep breath._

"_Well Rachel, you can't expect it to be ok in just a day you know? Maybe you just need to try a little harder, maybe take another day-"_

"_Why should I be the one trying Kurt? Why should I be the one making the effort and wooing? Why me when she's the one pulling away?!"_

_Rachel's mood had finally settled in one emotion; anger. _

_Why should she be the one straining herself, doing over the top gestures, when it wasn't her the one throwing everything away? Why was it always her the first one to give in?_

"_Why does it have to be me Kurt? Why does it have to be me the one who always cares the most? She should be the one trying! She should be the one wooing me again! Not me."_

_Kurt is left speechles and Rachel feels exhaustment falling over her, suddenly she can't muster anything but a whisper to come out._

"_Not me Kurt. Why doesn't she care anymore?"_

_Kurt takes the strands of hair of Rachel's eyes and gently strokes her hair, he honestly doesn't know what to say to make it better. All he knows is that she is right, if Quinn is the one pulling away then she should be the one making the biggest effort._

_After a couple of minutes of silence, Rachel becomes aware of the time and realizes she needs to be in the theatre in an hour and a half and she still needs to go back to her place to pick up her stuff._

"_I have to go Kurt, thank you for always listening to me"_

_She gives him a small kiss on the temple and turns away._

"_Hey! Rachel! There's nothing to thank, we're friends."_

_She throws a little smile at him and mouths "I love you" which he mouths back as he watches her walk away, he notices how tired she looks and he feels bad he can't do anything else to help her._

_/*/*/_

Rachel was trapped inside the whirlwind that is backstage, between getting her hair done and getting her costume she had managed to finally free herself from conflicting emotions. Performing was the only thing that could completely take her to another place and make her forget, if only for a little while. Maybe that's why she loves it so much.

Suddenly she was getting her curtain call and as soon as she was in place and the curtains rose everything else other than that moment was let go of.. or at least they were pushed back until later.

By the end of the first act Rachel was feeling a little bit more energized, maybe she really was like Tinkerbell, she didn't just need applause to live but also it gave her energy. The lights went out, the curtains fell and Rachel was full of adrenaline, how she loved being on stage!

"Ok everyone! 15 minutes for the second act! 15 minutes!"

15 minutes was basically all the time it took to retouch hair and make up, get into the second act costume and drink some water. Almost time measured, it was exactly the time it took Rachel to be ready.

The second act, even if it was shorter, was always the most intense, first act consisting on the main characters falling in love, discovering each other, setting the plot for the villain and building opportunities but the second act is where it all seems to be crashing down around them, a moment of hopelesness was coming and Rachel feared she wasn't going to be able to deliver. Not that it had any resemblance to what she was going through at the moment but the feelings remain the same and her heart is very sensitive and her emotions are overflowing her and if she's always been good at something is channeling her own feelings into the songs and dialogues she delivers, which has always been a advantage for her… but at that moment it felt as if it was going to backfire.

The notes began, the melody rose and she knew the moment was coming up, the sad song follows suit and her heart stuttered… but she didn't. She didn't choke, she didn't falter, she didn't fall. It came out extraordinarily heartbreaking and natural and she got a standing ovation, it's a little ironic, she thought, because for the first time she was not aiming for the applause.

Last scene, everything is alright again, the main characters valiantly fought for their love and prevailed. The lights went out and she fell out of character, but the lights came back on as they received the rest of their applause before the curtain falling definitely marking the end of the show and Rachel suddenly felt tired. She waved goodbye to her castmates, sharing kind words as she walked back to her dressing room. Got out of her costume, let her hair down and sat infront of the mirror to remove her make up. Once she is freed of everything she finally recongnizes the person staring back at her, she finally felt as she looked, tired. All she wants to do is get home.

When Rachel got back home she found Quinn sitting on the couch, head on her hands systematically rubbing her temples, evidently her headache was still there.

She leanded into the door frame watching intently at Quinn, she looked exhausted just like she felt and Rachel felt her heart letting go of the anger and replacing it with sadness, she left her stuff on the kitchen counter and went to sit besides Quinn.

"Hey"

Her voice was low because she didn't have strenght to talk any louder.

"Are you ok?"

There was no spoken response, only a quivering exhalation and she felt her shoulders drop.

"I take it that your headache has not gone away, has it?"

"No, not really"

Quinn's voice was raspy and low and at that moment Rachel decided no good would come of trying to talk things at that moment. It didn't matter how angry she was at the moment with Quinn, she would always want her to be alright and to take care of her. Maybe she did love too much, but that was the way she was, that was the way she loved.

Quinn hid her face further into her hands, her hair fell to her face and when Rachel placed it behind her ear she noticed a couple of tears rolling down Quinn's face and surrendered completely, at least for the night.

"Hey, lets go to bedroom ok? I'll get the water running and we'll each take a hot shower and then go to sleep, alright?"

"Yeah, that sounds perfect actually"

Rachel stood up and gave Quinn a quick kiss on the side of her head and extended her hand for Quinn to take.

"Come on, lets go"

Her hand closed around Quinn's as she stood up too, their eyes were about to meet when a buzzing on the coffee table stopped them, Quinn's phone was the only option since Rachel's was still inside her purse, only it wasn't. When Rachel looked over at the table she saw a phone she didn't recognize.

"Quinn? Whose phone is that?"

"Its … Uhm… Its mine."

"… Oh, ok then."

They stared at each other, Rachel wanted to say something but she was cut off by the phone buzzing again and Quinn grunted.

"Let me just… Let me just answer that."

She let go of Rachel's hand and her posture was suddenly tense as she reached for the buzzing phone.

"Hey. Yeah, no, yeah, I'm fine. Yes. I'm gonna go now ok? Yeah she's here. Yeah I know. Ok, thanks. You too, bye"

With a heavy sigh, she let down the phone slowly and turned to look at an obviously confused, and slightly upset, Rachel.

"Rach…"

"Where did that phone come from Quinn?"

Quinn sat down on the couch once again, rubbing her hands against the jeans she was wearing before running them through her hair.

"Hey, why don't you sit down too Rach? Please."

"No, Quinn. I will not sit down. Why do you have another phone?"

"Rachel, just, come here. _Please_, I'll explain"

Rachel's arms were now folded against her chest as she visibly started to get angry.

"Explain what? Why do you have …. Wait, but you called me earlier from your old number, how? How did… Are you cheating on me Quinn?"

"What!? Where did that come from?"

"DON'T!… Don't play with me Quinn. Just answer me."

At this point, Quinn was on her feet again trying to get close to Rachel who only kept on walking further away with every step.

"Rachel, where is this coming from?"

"Well, just to start, it has been a long time since you've been yourself, since you've been yourself with me to the extend that I had yesterday planned down to the second so that we could spend some real time together! Then here I am thinking that we had a great day, you even got me flowers which you hadn't in a while, only to have you disappear all morning refusing to tell me what where you doing! And now you have another phone that I had never seen before Quinn, yet you called me from your old one? Why do you have two different phones? Why? And who was that who just called you? Don't touch me Quinn! Just answer me! Who was that on the phone? Why do you have two different phones!?"

Brown eyes were filling with tears and Quinn finally stoped chasing after her, they were no more that 5 steps away from each other but at the moment they might as well have been on different countries. Rachel's arms still folded infront of her chest, tears filling her eyes as she tried to control her breathing. Quinn's left arm had fallen to her side and her right one was rubbing at her neck as she tried to maintain eye contact, her voice low and clear.

"It is not what you think Rachel, I would never cheat on you! I just-"

"You _what_ Quinn? Because, you're saying something but it really doesn't look like it."

Quinn closed her eyes and the hand on her neck made its way to her temple, her headache was getting worse and she was trying to stay calm.

"If you could just let me explain Rachel, let me talk."

Quinn searched for Rachel's eyes to make eye contact and waited until Rachel looked back at her to continue talking.

"I'm sorry I made you think that, ok? But please be sure that is not the case, I have never, nor would I ever cheat on you. I just, I didn't say anything earlier because I didn't want you to worry ok? I-"

"You _what!? _You what Quinn? STOP GOING IN CIRCLES AND JUST TALK ALREADY!"

"I GOT ROBBED OK!?"

Rachel's eyes suddenly grew and her jaw slackened a little as the shock hit her.

"That's it! I got fucking robbed and I had to get a new phone! And I have the same fucking number because I annoyed the store personel until they gave me it!"

/*/*/

_When Rachel got back to the apartment, she saw Quinn sitting on the couch, her back completely pressed against the back cushions and her fingers rubbing circles at her her temple, she obviously had a bad heachache. Rachel hated it when Quinn got headaches because they could stay there for days at a time, but still the anger from earlier didn't quite leave her._

"_Hello Quinn"_

_The blond girl sitting on the couch just hummed in response, just to let Rachel know she heard her. Rachel walked towards the kitchen, opening a couple of cabinets until she found some aspirins and got a bottle of water from the fridge._

"_Here, take these, maybe they will help a little bit"_

_She put the pills and the bottle of water on the coffee table and returned to the kitchen to fetch a bottle for herself. Slowly, Quinn sat up straight and reached blindly for the pills, her eyes were closed as the light was bothering her quite a lot._

_Rachel watched her from the kitchen and wondered what could've caused such a heachache on her._

"_I've been worried sick about you Quinn. You didn't answer my messages and you didn't answer your phone, and you never called me back. Where were you?"_

"_I'm sorry Rach, I didn't mean to worry you. I was… caught up."_

_The hoarsness in the woman's tone was evident, the tiredness and headache were imprinted all over her voice. Rachel studied her, trying to decide whether to push it or not, she saw Quinn's eyes were still closed and decided to let her be, for the time being, deciding on taking a shower instead. She stood up and passed by the place where they hung up their purses and bags and noticed Quinn's wasn't there. She eye searched the space for any sign of Quinn's belongings, failing to find them._

"_Where is your stuff Quinn?"_

_She did a 360 turn in her spot, eyeing every spot carefully, trying to find them._

"_Your bag, and your coat?"_

_Quinn's eyes were still closed and there were no words being spoken on her side. Finally, she spotted a golden key on the coffee table, next to where Quinn had laid down her water. A key without a keychain.. It must've been teir spare key. But, why did Quinn needed the spare key? _

"_Quinn, did you use the spare key to get in?"_

_Rachel stepped closer and grabbed the key to better look at it._

"_Well, it is obvious you did, why else would it be here? But, why? Where is all your stuff Quinn?"_

"_Rachel. Not now, please."_

"_What do you mean 'not now' Quinn? You've been MIA all morning while I was torn betweet being extremely angry and inmensely worried, I come home and I find you like this, and all you have to say is 'not now'?"_

_Rachel's voice had gotten louder and a little bit hysterical, her eyes fixed on Quinn as if she was trying to look right through her. But Quinn hadn't opened her eyes nor had she moved at all, making Rachel just that more upset. If there was one thing Rachel hated when she was trying to communicate with someone, it was being ignored._

"_I am talking Quinn, you should at least have the decency to look me in the eyes."_

"_Rachel, please."_

_Quinn's voice was an exhausted plea, and where it had been any other day Rachel would have obliged. But not that day, if she was honest, she had been building up for a long time and this was the result._

"_No Quinn, I want answers. I deserve answers. What is going on? Where have you been? Why didn't you answer or called or sent smoke signs or something? Where are your things? What the hell is going on Quin!?"_

_She didn't even realize she was yelling until the echo of her voice bounced all over the silent apartment, her cheast rising up and down quickly as her breathing became more shallow, tears stinging in her eyes. _

_Quinn let her hands fall and got up from the couch, finally making eye contact with Rachel, hazel eyes were dull with tiredness. _

_Rachel's breathing started to normalize and she spoke louder, softer._

"_What happened Quinn? Where were you? Talk to me, don't shut me out anymore."_

_By the end of the sentence Rachel's words where barely something louder than a whisper, but Quinn didn't cave, she didn't move, and her voice was low but final._

"_No Rachel, I said not now."_

_Silence._

_There was nothing but silence for a few minutes, just the two of them looking at each other, both unwilling to yield, but both wanting the other one to._

_Finally Rachel gave up, throwing her hands in the air._

"_Fine Quinn. Whatever."_

_She quickly grabbed what she needed to take to the theatre and left without even a second glance at Quinn._

/*/*/

After half a second of being quiet Quinn realizes what she just said and covers her mouth with her hand as Rachel's arms fall to her sides. Neither can speak and it feels as if the room has run out of air, suddenly it feels constricting, as if the walls are closing in on them. It is obvious that Rachel is struggling with conflicting emotions at the moment and Quinn wishes she could redo those last minutes all over again.

After what seemed an eternity Quinn can't take the silence anymore, exhaling loudly through her nose she attempts to come close to Rachel once again, only to have the girl walk away from her.

"Rach…"

"Wait, Quinn. You were robbed? _Robbed? _How? When? Did they hurt you?"

"I'm fine. Rach-"

"When?"

"Rachel, does that even matter?"

Rachel's eyes were harsh on Quinn, she was right on the edge of losing her temper.

"When? Quinn"

"This morning, after classes, on the way here."

Quinn's head fell to the side and she diverted her gaze from Rachel's, now glossy, eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me, Quinn?"

"I didn't want you to worry Rachel"

Quinn looked tired and defeated and Rachel snorted and crossed her arms again.

"Yeah! Well, you did a wonderful job at that huh? That was definitely the right choice to make. Because I obviously did not worry at all! I mean, being here all morning, waiting to hear from you and receiving nothing but silence as I texted you over and over again… Yeah Quinn, I did not worry at all. You should give yourself a pat in the back for that marvelous decision."

Rachel's eyes were all but flodded with tears, but she wouldn't cry again. She was angry at Quinn, just as she was worried, but she was more hurt than anything. Quinn had been robbed, she could've been hurt, she could've been killed. Why didn't Quinn say anything?

"Why didn't you say anything Quinn?"

"I am fine, nothing happened."

"I deserved to know Quinn."

Shinny brown eyes fixed on tired hazel one, as they measured each other. Both pairs were being slowly floded by tears. Rachel swallowed hard, trying not to let her voice tremble, and failing.

"You should have told me Quinn."

Finally, a single tear ran down.

"What for Rachel? What was the point of telling you? It's not like there was anything you could've done, it's not like you could've helped or fixed it. I'm fine, nothing happened. There's nothing to worry about."

Well if Rachel had been trying not to lose it, her battle had just been lost. She felt a lot of different emotions all at once, worry, anger, reject, disbelief, sadness, hurt.

"I suppose just being _with_ you, maybe not to talk and definitely not to fix it. But just trying to comfort you, means nothing then. Maybe I mean nothing then."

Quinn's eyes grew as soon as she realized the implications of her words. She hadn't meant it like that, but it was obvious why Rachel had thought so.

"Come on Rachel! I didn't mean it like that!"

"Then what did you mean Quinn? What on earth did you mean!? Because from where I am standing that is _exactly_ what you wanted to say."

She was full on crying now, her arms no longer crossed infront of her but both her palms pressed against her chest. The situation was too much like earlier that day and it kept summing up with all of the other feelings she had been trying to hide.

"By all means, tell me Quinn. What did you mean?"

Quinn was desperate, she kept opening and closing her mouth trying to say something, trying to reassure Rachel but nothing came out. She kept trying to think of something to say but seeing and hearing the girl infront of her, she couldn't, she couldn't say anything, she couldn't think.

"You've been distant, you've been forgetfull, you've been quiet around me and now you've been hiding things from me? What is it Quinn? Do you not love me anymore? Is that it? Because if it is that then you should just come out and say it because _this _is worse, this is more painful than you actually saying it."

"Rachel, don't be silly. Of course I…"

"NO! Don't… Don't say you love me Quinn. Because it doesn't feel like it, it doesn't seem like it."

"Rach, come on. Don't you think, maybe you're overreacting a little bit?"

Full stop. As soon as the words left her mouth, Quinn realized she had just messed things up even more.

"Rach, I didn't mean… I'm sorry. I just, I don't understand! I'm sorry I kept it from you, it was wrong and it was selfish but I just didn't want you to be thinking about it all day, I didn't want you to get scared or worried over something that can't be undone. I'm ok, nothing happened. I don't understand where all this is coming from. I'm Sorry Rachel, I am."

Rachel had closed her eyes, too tight perhaps, her breathing was quick and shallow and Quin fear she might hyperventilate she was shaking so hard.

"But, that hardly means I don't love you Rachel. Why are you saying that? I don't understand."

"I know."

The voice was strained, tired, too low. There was obvious hurt in it and Quinn felt suddenly cold.

"I know you don't understand Quinn, and maybe that makes it even worse. You haven't even realized, you don't notice anymore."

Taking the advantage that Rachel's eyes were still closed, Quinn walked up to the girl until she could feel her fast breaths. She caressed the distraught girl's cheek with her hand and almost cried when she leaned to the touch, biting her lip trying not to cry. It was the second time in two days she had made her cry without knowing why.

"Rachel,please don't cry. _Please_."

Quinn could feel Rachel's tears on her hand and she took the other side of her face with her free hand, trying to get the girl to look at her, trying to see those big brown eyes and maybe understand what was Rachel feeling. Tears of her own escaping, making her voice tremble, making it hard to speak.

"Talk to me. Make me understand, let me fix this. What am I missing? What am I not seeing sweetie?"

_Sweetie_

Rachel broke, she let out a sob and, to Quinn's surprise, she leaned in and kissed her. A wet kiss from all the tears that were being shed, a desperate kiss with a desperate hold on the blond girl's hair. A sad kiss that broke Quinn too.

Contrary to the unexpected way the kiss started, its end was marked. It started quickly and sudden but ended slowly and painfully. Rachel slowly opened her eyes and looked deep into Quinn's teary ones.

"Me, Quinn. You're not seeing me."

Rachel let her hands roam until they fell unceremonously at her sides, and walked past Quinn and into the bedroom. Quinn froze, she couldn't move, she couldn't breathe. It took her half a minute ro regain her functions, by then Rachel was almost inside their bedroom and she ran to catch her.

"Rachel, I -"

"Not now Quinn. Not now."

There was a fraction of second of eye contact before Rachel entered the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Leaving Quinn standing alone for the second time that day.


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: I suck and there is no excuse, just the same old life and work. But I promise I have not forgotten any of my stories and they will all be finished. **

**I hope you like this chapter, it's the most emotional piece I have written so far and I hope you'll think it was worth the wait. I can't promise I will start updating weekly, but I can make the commitment to update at least monthly now that work seems to have settled down.**

**Again, I'm sorry and thank you so so so much to all of you that still follow this story.**

* * *

><p>Breakfast was… awkward, to put it lightly.<p>

Quinn had slept on the couch, well technically speaking she didn't sleep, more like spent the night on the couch _trying _to sleep. She kept looking over to where the main bedroom was to see if Rachel would come out, but she never did.

Rachel had had similar issues. She kept glancing at the bedroom door hoping Quinn would come in at some point, but she never did and Rachel couldn't say she was surprised about it, she did make it pretty clear to Quinn that she did not want to be near her and apparently Quinn had chosen that particular argument to listen to her.

Neither of them slept more than a couple of hours and only got up when the sun was so bright it might as well have been midday feeling both exhausted and disappointed. Once they were both in the kitchen, they fixed their own breakfast and not a word was said, they sat on opposite sides of the table looking everywhere but each other reading the information on the milk and cereal boxes or trying to find inexistent flaws with their nails or scrubbing invisible stains in the table. They finished eating and remained seated for another five minutes until Quinn sighed and got up, picking up both their plates and putting them in the sink; she was really grateful that both of her hands were busy because she couldn't have reached out to touch Rachel's hand without dropping the dishes.

She leaned over the sink, her hands grasping the edge harshly counting down to twenty, because ten just wouldn't do the trick.

"Thank you, Quinn. But just leave them there, I'll wash them later."

Quinn heard the tiredness on Rachel's voice and felt a rush of fear running through her, she hadn't heard Rachel like that since, well… ever. Not when she had gotten rejected at auditions, not when her composition teacher decided to pick on her, not even back in highschool with everything she went through.

"It's fine, Rach, I got them."

She got the water running but before she could start actually washing the dishes she felt Rachel's hand on her forearm and she was surprised when Rachel pulled her back roughly, she turned to look at her and noticed that those brown expressive eyes were cold and detached, but it was nothing compared to how that melodious voice sounded, it chilled her right to the core.

"Don't. I said leave it, Quinn. _I _got it."

Rachel's grip was really strong, Quinn realized that if she hadn't been wearing a long sleeved shirt she could have felt Rachel's nails digging into her skin, she could feel Rachel's hand shaking a little and she recognized what she was doing. Whenever Rachel felt out of control of a situation she would set to at least have a tiny amount of control of the mundane things around her. Like washing dishes. Quinn looked again into Rachel's eyes, trying desperately to find something else there, something other than that dullness that was sucking out her life. She didn't find anything and raised her hands in defeat.

"Okay. Okay, I'm sorry."

Quinn barely took a step to the side before Rachel shoved her away and started actually washing the dishes, they weren't many of them so Quinn knew she wouldn't have to wait long. She decided to watch as the Rachel did the task, trying to figure out what was happening, what to say. How to fix it.

Rachel, on her side, found an odd feeling of calmness as she washed the dishes, something about water running and cleaning up things made her feel not as unsteady. Maybe it was the cool water, or the methodical circular movements in which her hands were moving, or maybe it was just focusing entirely on the task at hand, she wasn't sure but she wished she could just take out all of their dishes and wash them too. There was no hurry in her movements and she was so concentrated in scrubbing and rinsing that she didn't hear or felt Quinn moving until she felt herself being trapped by the waist in Quinn's embrace. She almost dropped the glass she was holding as her breath was taken away and her eyes started to water.

She froze and felt, as if it was slow motion, Quinn's movements behind her until Quinn breathed in the scent of her hair but didn't fully realize that Quinn was crying until she felt hot tears on her own neck when Quinn buried her face in the crook of it.

But it wasn't until Rachel heard the first sob coming out from Quinn that she registered her heart breaking, at that moment all she wanted to do was turn around and kiss those tears away, she wanted to hold Quinn and take her by the hand and make love to her all day. All she wanted to do was turn around and fix everything. But she couldn't', not because she lacked conviction but she physically couldn't get herself to move, everything she was feeling was just frozen inside of her and she stood there while Quinn crumbled behind her.

"I love you, Rach. I love you, I love you. I do. I love you."

Rachel felt Quinn's hot lips dropping a kiss on her neck and it was like that kiss was a spark and it ignited all the fire Rachel had been holding on to, her hands started shaking again and she was suddenly angry, suffocated by Quinn's arms around her. She needed out, she needed Quinn to let go, she just needed her to stop.

"Quinn, Quinn stop. Come on, Quinn. Quinn! Stop! I said STOP! Let me go!"

She managed to break free and pushed Quinn, a broken Quinn, away from her. She saw how the girl intended to come close to her again and she moved away from the sink, leaving Quinn behind.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I'm sorry."

Quinn's voice was soft and defeated, and it made Rachel even angrier than she already was. She turned around and took a good look at the blond girl in front of her: her shaking hands, her messed up hair, her shinny eyes, the tears streaming down her face, her neck, her lips… she took a good look at everything and wanted to scream.

"What are you apologizing for Quinn? Jesus! Do you even know?"

Quinn wanted to move close to her again but she moved in order to have the table between them, all she saw on Quinn's face was confusion, she could virtually see the interrogation sign floating over her head, she was furious at that point. She waited to see if Quinn said something but she only saw her opening and closing her mouth a few times, flustered, waving her hands around as if the answer she was looking for was something palpable in the air.

When Quinn let her hands fall and looked away, Rachel laughed, a hollow, empty, bitter laugh.

"God, Quinn! What? You figured that if you just said the words, if you just said 'I'm sorry' everything would be magically fixed? That everything would instantly be alright again? That I would just… I don't know… that I would just jump into your arms and we'd kiss and walk away into the sunset or something?"

Quinn's eyes were frantic, looking all over the place, trying to lock on Rachel's but they couldn't stop moving, it made Rachel uneasy, she couldn't really remember a moment when she had been as angry as she was right then.

"Do you even really know what you're apologizing for? Or were you just fishing for something to say? Some… magic phrase that would make me forget."

"Rach… Rachel, come on. Please. I'm trying here. I'm sorry that I hurt you like I did. I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm so, so sorry."

"Are you, Quinn? Are you really sorry for lying? Or are you just sorry you got caught?"

Quinn's expression turned to disbelief and Rachel realized she had lost the battle against tears.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you. That's what I'm sorry for. I never wanted to hurt you, I have never wanted to hurt you in any way, you _have _to believe that. I know it was wrong- I know _I _was wrong in keeping things from you but I know you, I know you would've found a way to stay home if I told you and nothing happened to me. I'm okay. See? I'm fine."

Quinn's eyes were suddenly bright again as she extended her arms in an attempt to further prove she was fine, but Rachel felt her heart sinking deeper, she looked up and tried to stop the tears from flowing, but it was impossible, she walked away from Quinn and into the living room where she sat down on the single couch, exhaustion washing over her as soon as she did so. She ran her hand through her hair and looked at Quinn, who was now sitting on the couch next to her.

"You don't get it, Quinn. It's not even about that. Yeah, you lied. Yeah, it was insensitive and selfish and I would have stayed here with you. But it's not about you lying because I know you know I would have eventually found out, I just… I just can't stop wondering _why_. _Why _did you lie to me? _Why_ didn't you want me to stay home with you? And don't… don't even tell me that it was because of the show because you have convinced me to stay home for something as silly as you _feeling_ you were going to get a cold."

Through her tears, Rachel saw how Quinn hesitantly reached out for her hand and she let her, she was too tired to pull away now.

"Rachel, I don't understand. I honestly just didn't want you to miss your show, it wasn't worth the trouble and-"

"Who are you to decide what's worth something or not? Especially when it comes to me! It was my decision to make, it was my call and it _was _worth it for _me_. I would have called in sick in a heartbeat… for _you,_ but you took away that decision because it wasn't worth it for _you_ and from where I'm seeing it, it feels like… as if…"

Quinn was now kneeling in front of her, the tears were weighing her down and she hadn't been able to look up since she started talking. She felt Quinn touch her face gently and then lift it to be able to make eye contact. Quinn's eyes were genuinely concerned and scared and Rachel almost threw herself to Quinn.

"It feels as if… what? Rach?"

"It's been feeling like… like I'm not enough anymore."

Rachel's voice was small, smaller than she intended it to come out but it was honest, as honest as she could be at the moment without entirely breaking down.

"What?"

"Nothing, just… ignore it."

Rachel stood up and it took Quinn a few moments to be able to stand up to follow after her, she was definitely not expecting that, although thinking back to their argument the day before she probably should have.

"Wait, Rachel. Wait please. Do you really think that?"

Quinn tried to take a hold of Rachel's hand again but was pushed away, not aggressively like earlier but it stung her the same, even more because Rachel refused to look at her.

"Come on, Rach. Stop. Look at me. You cannot possibly believe that is true, do you?"

Finally stopping, Rachel turned around to look straight at Quinn, smiling sadly and shrugging.

"Yeah… I kinda do."

Neither of them had ever really known what it was like to feel the world come to a full stop until that moment, Rachel had finally let go of what was hurting her the most and Quinn was shocked to the ground, out of all the things she definitely did not see that coming. She tried to make a quick trip back through her memories to see if she could find the moment she had deviated so far from their road together to make Rachel feel that, but she couldn't. She was just left baffled and without air.

"How … How can you say that, Rachel? You are my _entire _life, everything I do, everything I've done I've done it-"

"Please do not say that you have done them for me, Quinn, because you have not. Lying to me yesterday was not for _me_, it was because you didn't care enough to tell me when it mattered. It has been a while since you have done anything for _me_."

Rachel was getting angry again and she didn't want to, she didn't know if she was going to be able to control herself again, and Quinn's eyes showed that Quinn noticed it too.

"You don't mean that, Rachel. I know you are angry with me right now, but you cannot seriously mean that. All I care about is you, and this, and us. And I show it every single day. How can you not see that? I _love_ you!"

"I have never said that I don't believe you still feel something for me, that you care about me. But, Quinn, you don't have to _love_ me to buy things. I have never asked you for that. You are different, you changed and I am aware that we are all constantly changing but you just, you changed all of you. Everything that made you, _you_. I don't even know how to be close to you anymore, Quinn! It is so stupid and ridiculous because we've known each other our entire lives and yet here we are and we have become strangers and it's so _hard_ loving a stranger so much. I don't care that you change some parts of you, it happens, we all change and grow and everything but, you're not even you anymore, Quinn."

Rachel didn't look away from Quinn as she spoke, she couldn't she just wanted some resemblance or recognition or _something_ from the girl standing in front of her. But there was only confusion and sadness and Rachel had enough of that with her own.

"I don't know what to tell you Rach, I know I've changed, you have too but I still love you the same. I mean, I know I've been different but … I don't even know. I honestly don't know what to tell you, this has taken me entirely by surprise, I know we've had some issues but I never imagined… Why didn't you tell me all of this before? I could've done something or said something or… Or _something_, Rachel! You can't just drop all of this on me and … What do you want me to do?"

There it was, what Rachel had wanted to see, a moment of clarity in Quinn's eyes, the different tone in her voice and the delicacy of her mannerisms at the moment she spoke. It made her ache for it, but she was afraid that it was just a fleeting moment that would pass just as quickly as it happened. She didn't dare look away, it didn't matter tears were running down both their faces.

"You know, Quinn? Maybe we really were too young, we hadn't even really started turning into the people we would turn out to be. We were all hopes and dreams and nothing of reality. I know _I_ fell in love with you really fast, and really, really hard, but I never thought we would change so much from who we used to be."

"Come on, Rach. Don't do that, don't try to make it seem like we've been nothing but an illusion or something because we are real, we have always been real and I don't think we would have gotten this far if it wasn't true."

"If we've managed to stay together this long, Quinn, is because I have never stopped hoping you'll wake up one day and realize you've been pulling away and snap out of it. But it all seems pointless now, you don't seem to care enough to notice on your own. Can you tell me when was the last time you held my hand in public? Yesterday doesn't count ok? It just doesn't. Or the last time you kissed me in public? Or the last time you told me you loved me without me having to say it first or ask you to say it back? God! Or the last time we made love because we were in love and not just because you just felt like it? You say you love me, Quinn. But you love me in your mind and with the lights off."

Quinn didn't say anything, her mind wandering to another place and her after a couple of moments Rachel saw how realization sunk in and the way Quinn looked at her, the way those hazel eyes were filled with regret, it made her heart hurt. The way Quinn's hands went to cover her mouth and how tears filled her eyes… Rachel couldn't tell if it made her feel a little better that Quinn finally realized it, or if made her feel a little worse because she hadn't had a clue before.

"You didn't have a clue, did you? How could you not notice? My God, Quinn. I've always known you're not big on the expressing emotions department, but you had always found a way to at least making me feel what you felt. But you just suddenly pulled away and you left me alone in trying to keep this going. And to be honest, I can't keep carrying us around. I just can't. I _need _you, I need you to care, I need you to need me. And I'm not even saying I need you to go back to who you used to be because I still fall in love you with you every single day, I don't need you to remain static in one place in order to be okay, I just need you to not leave me behind."

Quinn was still frozen in her place, looking at Rachel intensely, silent tears staining her pale skin as they fell down, and if Rachel had any doubts about what Quinn felt they disappeared in that instant because she could see Quinn's heart breaking just like hers.

"We grew up, and we grew out of a lot of things. We let go of a lot what we were back in Lima and at times we forgot about everything else in the pursuit of our dreams, especially me, but I never left you behind and I never forgot what was the thing that really mattered. _Us_. You and me and everything we have built together. Growing up I realized that not every single detail has to be part of a relationship, we still are our own person and we can still have things to ourselves. But we were just supposed to grow up, not grow apart. Never apart, Quinn. That was what we said from the beginning."

"I know. I know, Rach. I am so sorry. I know that it doesn't make any difference and that it won't solve or fix anything right now, but I hear you and I'm sorry. I didn't notice, I didn't realize… Had I known how you felt I would have paid more attention, I-I would've done… anything… EVERYTHING! I wish you would've told me sooner, Rach, because I can't fix what has been already done, I wish I could go back and stopped all of this before you started feeling like that. I wish I could kiss it all away or have a spell that will take it all away and make it better."

"But you can't."

"No, I can't. But I _can_ work harder, better. You're right, we both grew up and changed and became different persons in a lot of ways but there has not been one day when I haven't loved you, a day when I have loved you less or a day when I haven't thought about you. I swear to you, it's true."

Rachel sighed at the sound of the words she longed so much to hear, it's impossible for her to fully tell how long she waited for Quinn to realize, to tell her exactly that, to look at her in the eyes and tell her that she still loved her and mean it. But now that the words had been said, it wasn't the feeling she expected, it wasn't that rapid heartbeat and immediate smile followed by a hug and a kiss and a promise to work together, she still felt a little numb, unsure, insecure. There was nothing more she wanted to do than believe those words and believe in Quinn but there was still a part of her that was wary and that stopped her from allowing herself to be excited.

"You have to believe me, Rach. You _have _to. You have to give me the opportunity to prove that I can fix this, to prove you that you still are the most important part of my life. We can't go back, but we can move forward and you wouldn't have told me any of this if at least a part of you didn't believe it too. I'll stay here. I'll stay here all day, all week if you want to and just listen to everything you want to tell me, no matter what it is or if it might hurt… I don't care, but I'll stay. We- I can fix this, I can make it better, I know I can… just give me the chance, _please_."

They looked at each other, Quinn saw the aftermath of everything she had done and Rachel saw the honesty in Quinn's eyes, the innocent shinning of those hazel eyes and she had to close her own, she had to because she didn't think she could muster any more energy if she started crying again, and suddenly she felt Quinn right there in front of her, their lips almost touching and the warmth coming from Quinn's hands as they hovered over her waist without making contact.

"Please, Rachel. _Please_, baby, please. You are entirely right, you have done so much for us, let me do it now, let me be the one to make it all better now."

Quinn held her breath as she waited for an answer, anything would do, just a sign that Rachel was still willing and she would do anything, slowly Rachel started nodding with her head and sighed.

"Okay. Okay, Quinn. We'll talk it over, but not today. I have a performance tonight and I have to go."

"That's okay, thank you. Yeah, okay. So we'll talk when you get back? I'll be here, you tell me what you want for dinner and I'll cook or order or we can go out. Whatever you want, Rach."

"No, not tonight. I don't think I could handle it tonight, to be honest I was thinking about staying at Kurt's tonight and there are no shows on Monday and I know Monday is your laziest day at the university and you won't be back late and we can talk tomorrow after your classes. Okay?"

"But… I thought, you said we'd work it out. How can we if you won't even sleep here? I don't want you to go."

Finally, Rachel dared to touch Quinn and she placed the palm of her hand in one of Quinn's cheeks, the touch was hot and reassuring and she smiled s little.

"I'm not _going_ going, I just don't think we can maintain the will to have that conversation if we spend the night together. You know I'm easy with you and it wouldn't take much to make me forget about it, at least momentarily and that wouldn't do anyone any good. Please understand that I need this. _We _need this."

"Alright. If that's what you need, what you want. Then it's okay. We'll see each other tomorrow. But… is it okay if I text you or call you? I don't like it when we sleep apart and two days in a row is too much."

"Yeah, that's alright. Two nights _is _too much. But we're going to be fine, aren't we?"

Quinn took hold of Rachel's waist and squeezed tightly, she knew they had what it took, she had faith that she could fix it and make Rachel happy again.

"We will, Rach. I promise."


End file.
